…Did I Just Say That Out Loud?

Businessman on cell: I could barely see over her head, dude! It was like reading Klingon for the first time.

Independence Avenue
Washington, DC

Posted on May 31, 2009
Body parts, Books, Compliments, Default, Guys, Pop culture, Washington, DC

Ad: Have You Sustained a U.D.I.?

Bartender to limping girl entering bar: Are you limping? Oh my god! What happened?
Limping girl: Damn, you weren't here last night, I was hoping you'd tell me!

Washington, DC

Posted on May 30, 2009
Bars & Clubs, Bartenders, Default, Girls, Offers and requests, Questions, Washington, DC, Wishes

Why Some Kids Refuse to Come Out Of Their Shells

Little boy: Mommy, if a turtle has no shell is it naked or homeless?
Mother: It would be dead, sweetheart.
Little boy: That's sad, mommy.
Mother: No, it isn't, dear. Come on, this is our stop.

Metro
Washington, DC

Posted on May 18, 2009
Animals, Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Default, Family ties, Feelings, Guys, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Public transportation, Questions, Washington, DC, Women

Remember the Days When I Was the Only One?

Old woman to young stranger: Is that your mother?
Young woman: No, bitch. That's my bitch.
Old woman to friend: Kids have way too many bitches these days.

Union Station
Washington, DC

Posted on May 15, 2009
Default, Family ties, Kids, Old folks, Public transportation, Questions, Strangers, Washington, DC, Women

Moving on to the Case Of Muffet V. Spider…

Father to son in stroller: Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall; Humpty Dumpty had a great fall; Humpty Dumpty hired a great lawyer; Humpty Dumpty sued the pants of the wall maker.

K Street
Washington, DC

Posted on April 23, 2009
Clothes, Dads, Default, Games, Guys, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Names, Washington, DC

It's Been Too Long Since I've Played Magic: The Gathering

Young female hill staffer #1: Right there in the friggin' book stacks…
Young female hill staffer #2: You were friggin' in the book stacks?
Young female hill staffer #1: Damn girl, I was watching, not doing.
Young female hill staffer #2: Wasted opportunity, if you ask me. I'd have joined in, or embarrassed the hell out of them till they let me in.

Capitol Hill South Metro Station
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Yoda

Posted on April 20, 2009
Books, Default, Girls, Public transportation, Questions, Washington, DC, Weirdness

This Will Easier to Explain with a Cone and Two Scoops

Nanny to five-year-old: Look, Stephen, there's a kitty!
Stephen, petting cat: Since boys have short hair and girls have long hair, then this kitty is a boy.
Nanny: Maybe not. Boys can have long hair and girls can have short hair too.
Stephen: Then how do you tell if it's a girl or a boy?
Nanny: How 'bout some ice cream?

Washington, DC