Probably Pregnant With Rain

Husband, while driving: Wow, look at those cool clouds over there.
Wife: Where? Oh, those, the one that looks like it is going up?
Husband: Yeah.
Wife, after long pause: That one looks like a uterus.

Michigan

Overheard by: T

Posted on August 20, 2009
Compare and contrast, Couples, Michigan, Uterus, Weather

Since the Rain Machine Is Broken

Host to dumb tourist: Would you like to sit inside or in the garden?
Dumb tourist: What's the weather like in the garden?
Host: I'm going to guess that it's the same as outside the front door you just walked through.

Restaurant
Charleston, South Carolina

Overheard by: Crash

Posted on August 6, 2009
Employees, Idiots, Questions, Restaurants, Science, South Carolina, Stupidity, Tourists, Weather

Have You Been Smoking Under the Fire Sprinklers Again?

Dude #1: Man, I hope it doesn't rain, I left my windows down.
Dude #2: It did rain just a little while ago.
Dude #1: Where? Outside?
Dude #2: What?

Lafayette, Louisiana

Posted on July 12, 2009
Guys, Louisiana, Questions, Stupidity, Weather, Wishes

Every Now and Then, My Inner Cracker Pops Up and Says Stupid Shit

Black girl in car: God, I wish I was black so I could say things like that.
White girl in car: But wait…you are black.
Black girl in car: I can't believe I just said that!

Detroit, Michigan

Posted on June 13, 2009
Black people, Default, Girls, Guys, Michigan, Race, Religion, Weather, Whiteys, Wishes

Al Gore: “Some Day That'll Be True!”

Afternoon drunk: Nah, man, it's 32. That's freezing. It don't get lower than that.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: colder that him, apparently

Posted on June 7, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Guys, Illinois, Weather

You Realize That Means “Highly Pleasant to the Taste or Smell”?

Black girl #1: Girl, it is freezing outside.
Black girl #2: Girl, I know, right?
Black girl #1: Nigga, you know what? I don't have any blood, and since I don't have blood I turn blue all over. All the blood I do have is in my ass, because it is so luscious.
Black girl #2: Oh, nigga, I know that is right!

University of North Carolina at Greensboro

Posted on May 30, 2009
Ass, Black people, Colleges & Universities, Default, Feelings, Girls, North Carolina, Questions, Weather, Words

Economics Really Is a Dismal Science

Professor just before class starts: There's no sporting events this weekend, right? We need something to bet on. (pause) I've got it! How about the hurricane?

CSU Classroom
Fort Collins, Colorado

Posted on March 5, 2009
Class, Colorado, Compare and contrast, Default, Questions, Teachers, Weather

And Maybe Some Of Those Flying Pigs We've Been Hearing So Much About

American tourist to friends: I hope this park has shade and air conditioning.

Barcelona
Spain

Overheard by: Kate

Posted on March 4, 2009
Default, Spain, Technology, Tourists, Weather, Wishes

Your Editors' Gumdrop Field Tests Have Been Inconclusive

Bus driver: Folks, this just in from the weather service, I just thought I'd pass it along to you all. Don't let all these clouds fool you, there's a high heat warning in effect for Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, gumdrops, and…snow cones, so if you have any of those items, you'd better keep them inside. That's all.

Bus #17
Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: The Redhead

Posted on February 8, 2009
Advice, Bus, Bus drivers, Default, Food, Oregon, Weather

It's Total Crap, But the Wine Selection's Incredible

Woman #1: It's raining, didn't you pray for no rain this morning in church?
Woman #2: No, we just shook hands and congratulated ourselves on our own self-righteousness.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Amy

Posted on January 19, 2009
Default, Hands, Questions, Religion, Washington, Weather, Women

Weather