God Only Knows What Goes on There at Night

Zookeeper, to penguin pecking at her shirt: Am I dirty? Am I a dirty little birdie? Do I need preening?

Mystic Aquarium, Connecticut

Posted on September 30, 2008
Animals, Connecticut, Default, Employees, Questions, Weirdness

Top Chef: Philadelphia Had a Whole Different Type Of Contestant

Ghetto girl: No! I'm just going to walk right up to him and be like, “your knives are in my car!”

La Salle University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on September 28, 2008
Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, Pennsylvania, Relationships, Violence, Weirdness

Followed by Fro-Yo

Trendy girl: Yeah, so like, the mom and her daughter went and got abortions together.

Town Center
Sugar Land, TX

Posted on September 28, 2008
Abortion, Default, Family ties, Girls, Stores, Texas, Weirdness

Oh, the Hora! The Hora!

Queer #1: I remember you! Are you Jewish?
Queer #2: No! I'm from Charleston!

Gay Strip Club
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Oh, thank god!

Posted on September 27, 2008
Bars & Clubs, Default, Geography, Georgia, Queers, Questions, Religion, Weirdness

Everything Is Coming Together!

Man #1: Hi! How are you?
Man #2 (excited): Great! I'm going through a divorce!
Man #1: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Man #2 (still excited): Yeah! My wife was with another man!

The Woodlands, Texas

Overheard by: ….what?

Posted on September 27, 2008
Default, Feelings, Guys, Infidelity, Questions, Relationships, Texas, Weirdness

Sounds Like a Lovely Centerpiece

Random biker chick: So, you just put your thong right on it?

Sturgis Motorcycle Rally
Keystone, South Dakota

Overheard by: KDH

Posted on September 25, 2008
Body parts, Chicks, Default, Questions, South Dakota, Weirdness

But the Sombrero Is Just for Style

Prof: Is today Cinco de Mayo?
Girl: No, that's in a few days.
Prof: Well, I had a few shots of tequila when I got up this morning, just in case.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Face

Posted on September 22, 2008
Default, Drinking & drunks, Holidays, Questions, Teachers, Washington, Weirdness

Whoever Cares the Least Wins the Fight

Woman (sarcastically): I'm sorry, I'm such a bitch.
Man: Hmm…
Woman: You think I'm a bitch, don't you?
Man: I didn't say that.
Woman: You didn't disagree with me.
Man: You know yourself better than I do.
Woman: I can't believe you called me a bitch.
Man: I didn't call you a bitch, you called yourself a bitch.
Woman: But you didn't tell me I'm not a bitch.
Man: Because you're acting like a bitch.
Woman: See? You think I'm a bitch!
Man: I said you were acting like a bitch.
Woman: Whats the difference?
Man: Dustin Hoffman acted like a retard, but it doesn't mean he is one.
Woman: I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but you're a dick for thinking I'm a bitch.
Man: Do you mean I'm acting like a dick or I am a dick?
Woman: Fuck you! (storms out)
Man: Too easy. Caramel Macchiato please!