Distraught girl on Valentine's Day: I can't get over it, I don't care if it's a new hour. I still have the taste of dick in my mouth!
Las Vegas, Nevada
Guy #1: I woke up in her bed without any pants.
Guy #2: What happened?
Guy #1: I think we had sex.
Guy #2: You don’t know?
Guy #1: I cant exactly remember. Luckily neither can she. She’d kill me if she knew.
Train
Sydney, Australia
Cop on radio: We’ve gotten a report from race security that there is a large Viking ship being rammed repeatedly into some garbage cans in the park.
Golden Gate Park
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: geek whisperer
Important looking man on cell: So, apparently, Georgia is being occupied by Russia. What this means to us is… Oooh! Toothbrushes!
Washington, DC
Overheard by: ak
DJ: And we'll be giving away a free DVD of diary of a mad black woman!
Drunk shirtless redneck, sincerely: Wooooooo! That's my movie! That's my movie!
Screen on the Green, Centennial Park
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Becca
Mini-skirt girl: Her name is Pearl, so she's either an 80-year-old white lady from Connecticut…
Suit: Or an 18-year-old, French-speaking lieutenant in an Asian motorcycle gang.
Mini-skirt girl: Yours is weirdly specific.
Bridgeport, Connecticut
Overheard by: Agreed
Chick on cell: Yeah, mom, listen: I'm trying to buy some weed. Yeah, I'll call you back if I get any. Okay, love you too. Bye.
Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Adrienne
Guy to another: Running naked with a sword is just not a good idea.
Guelph
Canadia
Girl #1: Who was that?
Girl #2, hanging up cell: My boyfriend.
Girl #1: What’d he want?
Girl #2: Tampons.
Tennessee
Overheard by: Jenni
Middle-aged woman to another: I said, “Let’s go to church,” and she said, “No, I’m going to stay in bed with Jesus today.”
Outside Mexican restaurant
Hammond, Louisiana
Overheard by: Booksie in Bumfuck
