Guy: So yesterday I totally got paid $10 an hour to lay on the floor and do nothing!
Liberal Arts Building, Utah Valley University
Orem, Utah
Guy: So yesterday I totally got paid $10 an hour to lay on the floor and do nothing!
Liberal Arts Building, Utah Valley University
Orem, Utah
Freshman girl, emphatically to strangers: Roller derby saved my life! Roller derby saved all of our lives!
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: You've been playing for a month, shut up
Impossibly cheerful Australian: I'd like two scoops of coffee coffee coffee buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz, please!
Alarmed counter guy: Uh, do you need it?
Ben & Jerry's
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Lab TA, chatting during break: So I live alone, and I have a lot of trouble opening bottles. Have you guys ever heard of the plastic husband?
(entire class laughs)
Lab TA: No! I didn't mean it like that! I just meant I need help opening things up!
(class laughs again)
University of Pittsburgh
Pennsylvania
Guy on Bluetooth: They took the two most aggressive animals and bred them together. What did they think was going to happen?
Oxford Valley Mall
Langhorne, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Tom
White trash woman on cell: Yeah, she OD'ed, right? I just got out of jail for murder. “Your mom died of overdose” is what she told her. You need to stop telling people all this, I could get locked up for a long time. You told Heather and everybody, she knew all about what I did. But…I don't know, she said to call her. She's at her house, I guess. Look, you don't do shitty things to people that are there for you, you do shitty things to people that are not there for you.
Computer Science Department
Ohio State University
Overheard by: Now Heather and I are both in on the secret
Little girl, running by: She's going to church, I have to stop her!
Lawrence Farms Orchards
New York
Overheard by: MissPinkKate
Girl #1: Yeah, I hate when people talk about babies like they grow in your stomach. They're in your uterus!
Girl #2: Yeah, it's so dumb. Like, that's not even possible unless you swallowed a penis…or ate a baby.
Connecticut
Guy, telling girl how to inspect screws in a table: Reach up, right up in there…
Girl: Right here?
Guy: Yeah, can you feel it?
Girl: Uh-huh…
Guy: Okay, now can you play around with it with your finger?
Girl: Uh-huh…
Guy, after long pause: You know, if anyone overheard this conversation, it would sound pretty bad.
Security Park
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Cool Breeze
