Young college girl #1: How was your date last night?
Young college girl #2: Okay. I don't think I'm going out with him again, though.
Young college girl #1: Why?
Young college girl #2: He was weird. He asked me to quit texting while we were having dinner.
Young college girl #1: Rude!
Starbuck's
Fayetteville, Arkansas
20-something girl, to friend: So I was reading in my magazine the other day that only 60% of American women work outside the home. I mean, that is really sad. Why can't I be part of the other 40%?
Appleton, Wisconsin
Flamboyant gay guy #1, whispering discretely: I'm going to do you so hard when we get home.
Flamboyant gay guy #2, not whispering: I'm going to shit in your mouth.
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: MB
Professor, to newbie class: So…let's start with everyone telling me a secret about themselves so I can try and remember your names. You (pointing to student) start.
Student, tentatively: Ummm…I eat cold spaghetti in the morning?
Professor: Ewww! Fantastic.
University of Zurich
Switzerland
Overheard by: Stephanie
(elastic snapping sound)
Woman in stall: And that was the sound of my outside panties!
Bathroom, Dive Bar
Ohio
Overheard by: Monika
Cafeteria kid: Acting would be really boring if we were all giant slugs.
High School Cafeteria
Victoria, B.C.
Canadia
Overheard by: Sefie
Lecturer, about exam questions: I mislead you on purpose. I have to get some sense of perverse pleasure out of designing these questions. I sit at home going “aahahahahahaa!” (rubs hands gleefully)
Irish Culture Lecture
University of Zurich
Switzerland
Chick on cell: Hey! I had a miscarriage! Wanna hang out?
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Girl, giving tour: Here is my favorite, one of our the weight training rooms.
Guy on tour with Australian accent: Do you train here as well?
Girl: Yes, this is my event.
Guy: What? Weightlifting?
Girl: Yeah. I'm training for the snatch.
Guy: What?
Girl: It goes like this. (demonstrates weight lifting move)
Guy (not suppressing grin): And how much is your snatch?
Girl: I start with 83 pounds.
Guy (snickering): Reeeally…
Girl: Yep. Also the clean and jerk.
Guy: (leaves tour group, unable to suppress laughter)
US Olympic Training Center
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: TK
