Professor: And this means that… [Looks at two students in the second row wearing striped shirts.] I just noticed that you two are matching! Wow! Anyway, this means that… [Sees another student farther back.] You too! [Stands back, eyes class suspiciously.] That’s almost too much of a coincidence.
Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia
Guy: I was a dragon in my past life.
Girl: Did you have sex with other dragons?
Guy: Of course.
High School Gym
West Virginia
Overheard by: Kimber
Tan, blonde, 40-something woman: Just stick 'em on your nipples, it'll be okay.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/379837297/wait-until-you-get-home-please.html
Overheard by: perplexed chai drinker
College girl #1: I washed this shirt and it got, like, bigger!
College girl #2: Well, at least you can wear it with tights now.
College girl #1: I know, but I don't want to look like a slut.
College girl #2: I feel like I look less slutty when I wear my sunglasses.
Boulder, Colorado
Girl to friend: Sorry about your vagina, but I'm sure the dog is okay.
Bar
Colorado
Girlfriend: Ugh, I can't think about hot dogs or sausages when I eat them. I can't bare to think what body parts I'm eating.
Boyfriend: Oh, hush. Look at what else you eat.
Girlfriend: I know, but I like you! And I wouldn't eat your arm!
Jersey City, New Jersey
Security guard: What do you do with a mailbox? You throw it in the middle of the woods!
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Elaine
Professor: Now, I want you to listen to what McCormack does with this last phrase. And then I want you to go slit your wrists. Because I know I do every time I hear this.
Peabody Conservatory
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Emo has nothing on opera
