Large black male student to tiny white female student: Stretch marks are awesome! They make you look like a tiger! (makes tiger claw gesture) Raaar!
High School
Lincoln Park, Michigan
Overheard by: The teacher
Archive for the ‘Whiteys’ Category
Got My Own Personal Trail Of Tears Over Here
Crazy old white lady trying on wedding veil: So I always wondered why I didn’t look good in these things…until 2004.
Disinterested customer: Oh?
Crazy old white lady: Yeah, then I found out I was part Native American. At least 5%.
Disinterested customer (confused): Oh…?
Crazy, old white lady: Yeah. That’s why I don’t look good in veils. Cause we Native Americans don’t wear them.
Disinterested customer: I got married in a courthouse.
Crazy old white lady: I hate to say it since I am part white, but damn those white people!
Goodwill
Altoona, Pennsylvania
And You’re Not Even Drunk!
Whitey thug: I can’t listen to you anymore! You just ended a sentence with a motherfucking preposition!
Gas station
North Carolina
Overheard by: KommissarKrunch
Or More Accurately, Not Having Sex With White Girls
White student #1: Yeah, it’s a good thing I’m not going to that preppy high school anymore.
White student #2: Yeah, I agree.
White student #3: You’d probably still be having sex with white girls.
Deerfield Beach High School
Florida
Who Ever Said Dating Teen Wolf Was Easy?
White girl: Bite his face!
Asian girl: Ew, no! It’s all hairy!
White girl: Sometimes you need to do things that you don’t like. Like biting a hairy face, for example. Or putting balls in your mouth to get back your Breakfast Club movie…
Asian girl: Oh, you poor thing.
New Jersey
Gay Fashion Designers?
Skinny white kid: Who doesn’t love black chicks with fat asses?
Political Theory class, University of Southern California
Los Angeles, California
Otherwise No One Will Believe Me
White basketball coach at end of middle school game: Wait… Wait! Don’t let any black people leave. I need to take their picture!
Ohio
Overheard by: A rare sighting
Whatever You Say, Latonya
Woman in line to another: Yeah, my brother’s birthday is tomorrow. He’s Aryan.
Wal-Mart
Tracy, California
Overheard by: Jeff
Wishes He Had a Girl Who Looked Good He Would Call Her?
White girl to white guy: Oh, I get it. So a baller pops his collar.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Emmitt
Nothing But The Chicken Dance for Me and My Posse
White geek girl: I swear, if it’s the goddamn Macarena, I’m gonna cap a bitch!
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
