Whiteys

Girl #1: Why does Denzel Washington with a gun freak me out?
Girl #2: Because he’s black.

Movie Theater
Colorado

30-something white guy on cell: It may be an all-time low, but I can successfully whack it to Telemundo.

Frisco, Texas

Granola guy: Yeah man, Ron Paul is awesome! He, like, votes no on everything.

Bonnaroo Festival
Manchester, Tennessee

Middle-aged male Wasp: I'm voting for Wil Armstrong.
Middle-aged female Wasp: Isn't “Wil” only spelled with one l?
Middle-aged male Wasp: Uh, yeah.
Middle-aged female Wasp: That's kinda gay.

Denver, Colorado

White tourist: I’m really sorry — I don’t have any change. If I did, I’d give you some, but I don’t, so… sorry. Good luck with everything…
Black dude: Cracka, I’m ain’t homeless!

Hynes Convention Center subway stop
Boston, Massachusetts

White hipster to others: I've noticed the black kids in Harlem are starting to wear skinny jeans and skateboard. It's great… 'cause it's, like, cool to be smart again.

Massachussetts

Large black male student to tiny white female student: Stretch marks are awesome! They make you look like a tiger! (makes tiger claw gesture) Raaar!

High School
Lincoln Park, Michigan

Overheard by: The teacher

Whitey thug: I can’t listen to you anymore! You just ended a sentence with a motherfucking preposition!

Gas station
North Carolina

Overheard by: KommissarKrunch

White student #1: Yeah, it's a good thing I'm not going to that preppy high school anymore.
White student #2: Yeah, I agree.
White student #3: You'd probably still be having sex with white girls.

Deerfield Beach High School
Florida

White girl: Bite his face!
Asian girl: Ew, no! It's all hairy!
White girl: Sometimes you need to do things that you don't like. Like biting a hairy face, for example. Or putting balls in your mouth to get back your Breakfast Club movie…
Asian girl: Oh, you poor thing.

New Jersey