Whiteys

Got My Own Personal Trail Of Tears Over Here

Crazy old white lady trying on wedding veil: So I always wondered why I didn't look good in these things…until 2004.
Disinterested customer: Oh?
Crazy old white lady: Yeah, then I found out I was part Native American. At least 5%.
Disinterested customer (confused): Oh…?
Crazy, old white lady: Yeah. That's why I don't look good in veils. Cause we Native Americans don't wear them.
Disinterested customer: I got married in a courthouse.
Crazy old white lady: I hate to say it since I am part white, but damn those white people!

Goodwill
Altoona, Pennsylvania

Might Even Trump the Popularity of Pregnant or Fat?

Black guy: You keep hearing about how racist Britain's getting, it's pretty scary.
White girlfriend: Oh, totally. I think that before anyone in that country over 40 is allowed to make a public statement they should take a test that's like “is this quaint, or just racist?” and if they fail they shouldn't be allowed to say anything.
Black guy: That would be an awesome game show.

Calgary
Alberta
Canadia

I’m Gonna Write Off This Ride As an Educational Expense

WASPy college student to cab driver: You’re absolutely right, sir. A curse upon the Saudis.

eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

But Isn’t an All-Male Choir Kinda Gay?

Weird Asian guy: You’ve never heard about the clitoral frequency?! It’s a certain frequency that only men can hit, and if they hit it then all the women in the area will simultaneously orgasm.
Weird white guy: I’ve heard about the clitoral frequency! If you get an all-male choir to all sing as low as they can go, then they hit it.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: deb

Homie Also Has a Hard Time on Armed Forces Career Day

Flamboyant, very white math teacher: Alright, we have a test on Tuuuuseday, which is also, guess what, the blood drive! So don't donate blood before the test and please, please, do not donate blood during the test. You'll be writing with one arm and bleeding with the other, and then you'll get paler and paler… and keel over and die. Homie can't fly that. Homie can't.

Math Classroom
Hawaii

Not the Demographic to Fear in Colorado

Girl #1: Why does Denzel Washington with a gun freak me out?
Girl #2: Because he’s black.

Movie Theater
Colorado

And My Dad Says I Don't Pursue My Goals!

30-something white guy on cell: It may be an all-time low, but I can successfully whack it to Telemundo.

Frisco, Texas

It’s Like Having a Principle, Only Easier

Granola guy: Yeah man, Ron Paul is awesome! He, like, votes no on everything.

Bonnaroo Festival
Manchester, Tennessee

So I'll Vote for Him, Too.

Middle-aged male Wasp: I'm voting for Wil Armstrong.
Middle-aged female Wasp: Isn't “Wil” only spelled with one l?
Middle-aged male Wasp: Uh, yeah.
Middle-aged female Wasp: That's kinda gay.

Denver, Colorado

Just When Race Relations Were Improving in Boston

White tourist: I’m really sorry — I don’t have any change. If I did, I’d give you some, but I don’t, so… sorry. Good luck with everything…
Black dude: Cracka, I’m ain’t homeless!

Hynes Convention Center subway stop
Boston, Massachusetts

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