Wishes

Little boy (loudly): I want to eat poop.
Mom (who clearly wasn't paying attention): What, honey?
Little boy: I would like to eat poop.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: JessH.

Thug: So I just need somewhere to test my invention…

Washington, DC

Overheard by: can't help but wonder…

Loud guy on cell: So that's like, what, a 90% ratio of girls who have gotten pregnant right after I dated them? (bursts out laughing)
Girl to friend: Wow, I want him as my next boyfriend!

LSU
Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Overheard by: the things you hear when you go to class early….

Guy #1: Let's become a band of traveling acrobats!
Guy #2: …yes.

Toronto
Canadia

Girl #1: Oh my god, Jen* is such a skank!
Girl #2: Yeah, but if I was that good-looking I'd be a slut too!

Upper Hutt
New Zealand

Overheard by: Kat

Guy #1: Sure, that is something I have always wanted to do… I mean I would rather fuck a girl in the ass than ummmmmm… go skydiving.
Guy #2: Well said, my man.

Baltimore, Maryland

Airline personnel: We should be boarding the plane at 10:25… If we have a plane.

Airport
Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: Burt

Teen son: I really want to read a book, I don't know why.
Mother: No, it's such a waste of money.

Target
Voorhees, New Jersey

Overheard by: deno

Gay friend: I wish him the best in all his endeavors, and whatever his life is like now… But I hope he gets shot when he comes out here to Mardi Gras.

San Diego, California

Drunk guy: It’s my birthday and I wanna hear some boobs clapping!

Davis, California

Overheard by: Liz