Exasperated mom to young daughter (referring to a stuffed beaver): Quit messing with that beaver! (pause) and that's the last time I ever want to say that sentence!
Ikea
Frisco, Texas
Overheard by: Becca
Exasperated mom to young daughter (referring to a stuffed beaver): Quit messing with that beaver! (pause) and that's the last time I ever want to say that sentence!
Ikea
Frisco, Texas
Overheard by: Becca
Girl #1: Twisted Sister? Ew! Gross!
Girl #2: What is that? I've never heard of it, it is gross?
Girl #1: I don't know either, I just watched a ton of porn this morning so I keep thinking of things in the dirtiest way possible. Ewww.
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
Stoner #1: Yo, what time is it?
Stoner #2: Oh! I know, right?
Roslindale, Massachusetts
Professor: So the idea of women getting foreplay before sex often ends up being a way…
Student (cutting her off): For him to get you just wet enough so he can stick it in.
Professor: Well, I was trying to think of a more polite way to say it, but…yes.
http://www.overheardatumbc.com
Nigerian guy, joking: Ha ha! Yeah, it's probably because I am black, hey.
American girl: Oh my god, you can't say that! You have to say “African-American.”
Nigerian guy: But I'm not African-American; I'm Nigerian. I suppose you could say “African”?
American girl: No, look, we learned it in elementary school! It's “African-American”!
Nigerian guy: Okay… So you're Scandinavian, by that rationale.
American girl: No, I'm American! You're African-American!
English guy: Please shut the fuck up.
Cambridge
England
Overheard by: TopCat
Student, discussing a character’s problems: It’s like he’s in between a needle and some bread.
Teacher: … Do you mean a rock and a hard place?
English Class, Hazelwood West High School
Florissant, Missouri
Straight guy: I really need your advice about this girl.
Gay guy: Stick it in her butt!
Straight guy: No. Her mom set us up on this date…
Gay guy: Stick it in her butt!
Straight guy: You just suggested that. I mean, I like her but I definitely don’t want to date her, and we’re supposed to hang out this weekend, but I don’t know what to do with her.
Gay guy: Well, just be like: “Hey, do you want to toss a Frisbee in the arboretum?”
Straight guy: And if she says yes, be like: “Okay, do you want to toss my salad in the arboretum?”
Gay guy: Awesome.
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: $kank
Man: Hey, what are you girls doing?
Woman #1, uninterested: Cigarette break.
Man: So, what are you girls up to?
Woman #2: Cigarette break.
Man: So, you girls interested in a threesome?
Central Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Little boy, in sing-song chant, marching around outdoor cafe: Die die, die die, die die, die die!
Santa Monica, California
