Ass

Concerned-looking sorority girl, walking out of bathroom stall: Oh my god guys, do you really think my butt smells like ass?

Bathroom
University of Idaho

Overheard by: CrayonCake

Four-year-old child, excitedly, holding mother's hand: My butt is burning!

Maine

Girl: Is there anything on my ass? You’re a girl. You look and see and tell me. Oh my god, is there anything on my ass?!

San Francisco, California

Little boy (chanting loudly): My penis and my butt! My penis and my butt! My penis and my butt, butt, butt, butt, butt!
Little girl: But I don't have a penis.
Both: My vagina and my butt! My vagina and my butt…

Ashland, Oregon

Overheard by: Kelly

Girl outside changing room: How are those other pants working for you, Jen?
Girl in changing room, frustrated: I feel like the devil himself crafted them to make a mockery of my ass.

Mall
Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Overheard by: almost broke a rib trying not to laugh

Dude: I was trying to moon them with your butt without you knowing.

Lebanon, Indiana

Sorority girl: Well, yeah, but that doesn’t change the fact that you have a tampon in your butt.

Dickinson College
Carlisle, Pennsylvania

Mother: Max, no pinching girls’ hineys!
Three-year-old boy: Just boys’?

Highlands Ranch, Colorado

Female Mets fan: I’d let the whole infield fuck me in the ass with no lube if it meant they would win the World Series.
Friend: Classy, Michelle, real classy.

Braves-Mets Game
Queens, New York

Overheard by: aaron

Music History prof taking roll: Jane Smith?
Jane: Here.
Prof: Oh, there you are. I’m just used to seeing you from behind.

Hartford, Connecticut