Dad to kid: Come back here, or I'll have to beat you!
Kid, indignant: You can't beat me! I'm a belly button!
Wal-Mart
Pasco, Washington
Dad to kid: Come back here, or I'll have to beat you!
Kid, indignant: You can't beat me! I'm a belly button!
Wal-Mart
Pasco, Washington
Professor: So does anyone know what the word “matrix” means in Latin?
(silence)
Professor: Well it means “womb.” Now, why might that be? Let's think about it…I mean, I guess a womb is a pretty good place to put…things.
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
Bikini gal to friend: Wow! Do you ever shave? Your leg stubble just about took my eye out!
Friend: Please, I just spent $85 dollars on a Brazilian wax…look!
Bikini gal: Okay, Brittany, pull your fucking suit up! I'm just talking about your legs!
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: zelph
Drunk man to another: If I had a nose like fluorine I wouldn't be wishing anyone a merry Christmas.
Bar
Edinburgh
Scotland
Overheard by: Jesse Green
Girl to friend: So, I was just walkin' along and you know what that squirrel did?
Friend: What?
Girl: It threw a nut at my head!
Southern Illinois
High school psychology teacher: As humans, we all walk around on two legs. We're all pedophiles.
Michigan
Overheard by: Did you mean
Woman on cell outside Target store: And then he'll pee on your face!
San Jose, California
Server: We need a button on the computer for this…
Boss man: For what?
Server: Balls on your face.
Midlothian, Virginia
Overheard by: bec-uhh
Dad balancing bird toy on middle finger, to seven-year-old son: This is dad's magic finger. He uses it when driving.
http://community.livejournal.com/overheardinmelb/223374.html
Mother to teen son: Your hair needs a cut.
Teen son: Your face needs a cut.
Dad: Your face needs a punch!
Ebdentown
New Zealand
Overheard by: Schmitty
