Emo guy on cell: I've got to get on the electric snake now. I'll go wherever it takes me. (pause) Tell your mom not to lose an eye, ok?
B Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Smallison
Emo guy on cell: I've got to get on the electric snake now. I'll go wherever it takes me. (pause) Tell your mom not to lose an eye, ok?
B Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Smallison
Drunk college dude, explaining how he got kicked out of a club: They looked at my ID, then they looked at my face. My face was not as sober as my ID.
Metro, Orange Line
Washington, DC
Overheard by: funniest Metro ride ever
Babysitter: My dog gets hot walking.
Seven-year-old: How can you tell?
Babysitter: He sticks his tongue out, and his fur is really warm.
Seven-year-old: Sometimes when I'm out in the sun my hair feels hot.
Babysitter: Yeah, now imagine you have hair all over your body.
Seven-year-old: Like my dad.
St. Louis, Missouri
Little girl: Where is Jesus?
Bored babysitter: Umm, I don't know… In your heart?
Little girl: Well, then guess what?
Bored babysitter: What?
Little girl: I'm going to punch him! (starts punching herself in the heart)
Toronto
Canadia
Mother: Do you know about the tooth fairy?
Toddler: Yeah!
Mother: No, you don't.
Fleetwood, New York
Overheard by: Deek
Mayo hater: If you kill one of my pets I'd be able to forgive you. If you put mayonnaise in my belly button, I would never talk to you again!
Universal Studios
Florida
Guy on phone: I didn't, like…have eye-sex with him. (pause) I didn't fuck him in the eye!
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Mike Dunn
Coed: I like your bladder.
USC
Los Angeles, California
Girl in humanities course: I don't trust Chinese people with my eyebrows.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Amused college student
Tall woman on cell: It's not like I wanted to do it either, but sometimes you just have to grab her, spread her legs, and shove the tampon in there. I mean it's part of the job after all.
Dayton, Ohio
Overheard by: I hope she gets hazard pay!
