California

Woman on cell: Take him home in a straitjacket, or take him to the psych ward in a straitjacket…either way, he's not going to be happy.

Saratoga, California

Overheard by: Coffee shoppe caffeine junky

Asian girl #1, looking at yogurt display: Ten for seven dollars, what is that?
Asian girl #2: I don't know, I don't want to do the math.

Los Angeles, California

Queer, after being rushed to play Scrabble: You don't understand what it's like having all vowels!
Drunk girl: You don't understand what it's like having a vagina, so who wins?
Queer: I do! I have an emotional vagina.

Long Beach, California

Overheard by: pucewoman

Coed: I like your bladder.

USC
Los Angeles, California

Random girl to friend: Just because I've seen your o-face doesn't mean you're attractive.

Berkeley, California

Overheard by: C.S.

Stoned girl #1: We should go to Tops Yogurt soon!
Stoner girl #2 to stoned guy: Yeah! You should come!
Stoned guy: Why Tops? Why not bottoms?
Stoned girls, in unison: Yeah! Why Tops? Why not bottoms?!

Sacramento, California

Purple-haired girl on swing: I love the swings. When I was a kid I used to just sit on them for hours, having panic attacks.
Punk girl on swing: Holy fuck, you too!?

Bakersfield, California

Guy wearing Stanford shirt: Hey, look! Manatees!
Friend: Those are polar bears.

San Diego Zoo, California

Overheard by: Dayum

20-something woman to friends: He was putting sunscreen on his dick and got a boner!

Plutos Restaurant
Palo Alto, California

Punk girl: For some reason, everything you do makes sense when you're in only your panties.
Purple-haired girl: I know, right? It makes sense to me too!
Tall greaser guy: In fact, it wouldn't make sense if you weren't only in your panties.

Bakersfield, California