Roommate #1: Do you want to go clothes shopping for spring break?
Roommate #2, making disgusted face: I don't wear clothes on spring break.
Roommate #1: (long pause)
Roommate #2: I just wear a bathing suit.
University of Michigan, Ann Arbor
Overheard by: Roommate #3
Casual guy: It’s amazing how chummy they are now.
Guy in suit: Chummy? They’re like having weird gay-slash-Jewish sex.
Thornton School of Music, USC
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Yapplebee
Professor: I can assume people don't walk on their hands, but some people might do it to fool me, because I have a robot.
George Mason University
Fairfax County, Virginia
Overheard by: NoRobot
Professor: And so then after he killed the beast he went and bathed because there was dirt under his fingernails and a civilized man never has dirty fingernails… (pauses) My first girlfriend dumped me for dirty fingernails.
York University
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Student
Very drunk girl, exiting party: Oh my, it's dark outside!
Sober girl: Oh, are you gonna need help back to your dorm or anything?
Very drunk girl: Oh, no. Wine gives me night vision.
University of Kentucky
Overheard by: Emmatastic
Random guy: He's like a cross between Michael Jackson and a Swiss Army knife.
University
England
Guy, walking angrily: She thinks that vampires evolved, so now they can be out in the sun like normal people. She also thinks it's degrading to have sex in any position other than missionary, when she's sober.
University of Delaware
Overheard by: what???
Moody college girl on phone: No, I have to go the macro class right now and pretend to be a Republican. If you don't agree with the professor, you're wrong.
(pause)
Moody college girl: Yeah, if I can pull this off I deserve an Emmy, or an Oscar. Hell, I'll take a cookie!
Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts
US History professor, angrily: I don't put up stuff on the overhead for me to masturbate to! I do that at home. Pay attention!
Georgia State University
Overheard by: Kat
