Colleges & Universities

Prof: Ladies, I'm just gonna give it to you straight: I guarantee you that almost every straight guy you see today is going to picture you naked.
Techie guy, fixing projector: Fuckin' A!

University of Calgary
Canadia

Studious student: You know she would tell her students that she's far too sick to make it out to campus, and then curl up in a ball on her couch with a cup of tea so she can watch the rain fall and weep.

Virginia Commonwealth University

Professor: It's hard to have an orgy without orgasms. What? It's true! What're you gonna do, play video games?

University of San Francisco
San Francisco, California

Girl #1: My dream is to have a harem of guys that I can make dress up like the pale man from Pan's Labyrinth.
Girl #2: Why the hell would you do that?
Girl #1: Because it would be awesome and scary. I just want to see a bunch of people running away from me and my harem.

Mount Holyoke College
South Hadley, Massachusetts

Nerdy college guy #1: “Bitch” does have a negative connotation.
Nerdy college guy #2: But girls say it to each other, it's like the “n” word!
Nerdy college guy #3: And it can be used as a greeting! “Yo, bitch, what's shakin'?”

USF
Florida

Overheard by: SB

Russian professor: Grammarlicious definition makes them “gringo locos.” (pause) Now that you've all been permanently scarred…

Arizona State University

Girl #1: Oh my god! You sounded so much like Katharine Hepburn just then!
Girl #2: I sounded like who?
Girl #1: Well, never mind, you stopped doing it. Bitch.

Couch Dorm
University of Oklahoma

Girl, nodding to human mess across the way: Is that girl burning holes into a photograph with a cigarette?
Guy: That is frighteningly erotic.

University of South Florida

Girl to group: You guys! Everyone who has not had this fetus in their rectum is still a virgin!

Sarah Lawrence College
Bronxville, New York

College student: So far, I'm three for three on not knowing who I left with, or how I got there.

Lycoming College
Williamsport, Pennsylvania