Compare and contrast

Do They Count If You Have to Blow Them Up?

Music history professor: Darwin says that the sole purpose for living things is to survive and procreate. What about us, as musicians? Do we need music to survive and procreate? Well, some people believe that music was created as a sort of mating call. Compare the reproductive life of Jimi Hendrix to the reproductive life of… well, me.
Class: Um…
Music history professor: Well, clearly I win hands-down because of all my groupies.

1 East Mount Vernon Place
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: stravinsky

Unless I'm Just Having a Really Awesome Stroke

Girl to male cat: You're so cute! You smell like bacon… but that's okay.

Lewisville, Texas

Talk Amongst Yourselves

Math professor, taking baby steps across the front of the room: Infinity is waaay over there. It's gonna take me awhile to get there.

Southern Methodist University
Taos, New Mexico

Turns Out There Is Always Room

Tiny Pakistani girl: I did not hook up with him. I just put Jell-O in him. Big difference.

Fredericksburg, Virginia

In Kansas, Recreational Eating Goes Extreme

Stoner #1: … And it burned the whole way down! Seriously, I think my throat hemorrhaged.
Stoner #2: Well at least you didn’t eat nine bowls of pudding.

Kansas State University, Manhattan

Overheard by: I wish I heard the beginning…

That's What You Said About the Dentist's Chair!

Middle aged woman #1: I want to see the flag exhibit.
Middle aged woman #2: Me too! I hear it's just like Space Mountain.

Smithsonian National Museum of American History
Washington, DC

Seriously, Just Kill Us Now

Pre-cal teacher to apathetic senior students: Now we're getting into the fun stuff–exponential growth of fruit flies!

Prattville, Alabama

Overheard by: Lindsey

And I Need Lipstick for Medicinal Purposes

College girl, handing heavy basket to boyfriend: I’m all for feminism, but I don’t like carrying heavy things.

Target
Towson, Maryland

Overheard by: Kay-ren

And Then There's the Peeing in My Closet

Sit-ups guy to older dude: Oh, hey there, Bob.
Older dude: You know, every time I see you I think of my dog.
Sit-ups guy: Oh? Why's that?
Older dude: I keep trying to get him to kneel. (walks away)

Z-Center, MIT
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: MaybeHisNameIsNeal

At Least Take a Bite of This Apple

Boy: I believe in waiting until marriage.
Girl: That’s funny, cause I believe in you fucking my brains out.

Bryn Mawr College
Pennsylvania

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