I Am One With My Car

Young woman to girl, after car accident: Do you have car insurance or anything?
College girl: Blue Cross Blue Shield.
Young woman: … Uhh… That would be health insurance.

South Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Charlee

Posted on March 2, 2020
Compare and contrast, Default, Offers and requests, Questions, Sorority types, Stupidity, Vermont, Women

This Season’s Most Unlikely Love Story

Girl, looking at video games: If I had a sword that pimp, I would just kill people all day and run around.
Boy following her: Girl, if you had a sword that pimp I would stop being gay and make you stop to make love to me.
Girl, looking appalled: I’d be busy killing people, though.
Boy, matter-of-factly: Well… I’d make you stop every thirteen kills.

Random Walmart
Boise, Idaho

Overheard by: Bunnee

Posted on March 1, 2020
Compare and contrast, Crimes, Friends, Games, Gays, Girls, Guys, Idaho, Murder, Sexuality, Stores, Weirdness, Wishes

Then There Was the Guy We Stabbed and Stuck in the Dumpster…

Hungover girl #1: I really feel like an ass.
Hungover girl #2: Why do you feel like an ass?
Hungover girl #1: Well I did throw a drink on someone.
Hungover girl #2, nodding: And got kicked out of the bar twice.

Wilmington, North Carolina

Posted on February 29, 2020
Ass, Compare and contrast, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Girls, North Carolina, Violence, Weirdness

…I've Been Saving That Up All Semester.

Elderly Bible as Literature professor: People often say things that catch people off guard. Like if I said even Jesus shat.
(entire class goes completely silent)
Professor: Holy shit, huh?

College
Massachusetts

Posted on February 26, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Jesus, Massachusetts, Poop, Questions, Religious fanatics, Teachers

He's Gone So Many Places No Man Has Gone Before

Aging dork #1: I like Star Trek, but not Star Wars because they never pay attention to physics.
Aging dork #2: William Shatner is a pimp.

Peterson Air Force Base
Colorado

Posted on February 22, 2020
Airports & flights, Colorado, Compare and contrast, Default, Dorks, Geeks & Nerds, Movies, Names, Words

The Slut Recordkeeping System Parallels Major League Baseball’s

Drunk girl, loudly, to her drunk friends: I mean, she’s slept with or semi-slept with more people than I have!

Clark and Broadway
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: flunk_punk

Posted on February 20, 2020
Compare and contrast, Creepsters, Default, Drunks, Friends, Girls, Illinois, Sexuality

…Where No One Knows My Identity.

Guy to friends: I use condoms in town, but skeet out of town.

Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Eve's dropper

Posted on February 11, 2020
Compare and contrast, Condoms, Friends, Guys, Tennessee

Like the Sex-Ed DVD Abortion: Delicious, but Deadly

Female college student eating grapes: Look, it's a baby grape. And this one is like a grape fetus.
Roommate: What? Are there flavored fetuses?

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Larissa

Posted on February 8, 2020
Compare and contrast, Default, Friends, Fruit, Girls, Oregon, Questions, Students

This Concludes My Essay on “Who I Admire Most”

High school student: She’s a two faced bitch, but not in a bad way.

http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2008/04/high-school-student-at-lowell-high.html

Overheard by: emily

Posted on February 5, 2020
Compare and contrast, Default, Insults, Overheard Lines, Students, Teens, Words

Not If You Swallow the Sperm Like a Good Girl

Girl: I heard cum was high in protein, but it’s also high in calories.
Guy: Yes… It is also high in Vitamin D, iron, serotonin. Sadly, a woman’s body can hardly produce an equally useful food supplement.
Girl: … It produces babies!

Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia

Posted on February 4, 2020
Canadia, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Cum, Default, Food, Girls, Guys, Science

Compare and contrast