Tonight's Movie: P.S.– I Oven You.

High school girl to friend: History is my favorite subject, my favorite is the holocaust…I love the holocaust!

Dentist Office, Korea Town
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: anon

Posted on June 29, 2018
California, Compare and contrast, Default, Doctor's office, Feelings, Girls, History, Students, Weirdness

That Damn Third Commandment Always Trips Me Up

Good Catholic schoolboy to friend who just recited a really long prayer: Good job! You only missed one word. This one can be really hard and you almost got it perfect.
Bad Catholic schoolboy: God dammit! Jesus Christ, I'm never gonna get this bullshit memorized!

Goretti-Neumann High
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: lora

Posted on June 19, 2018
Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Education, Etiquette, Friends, Guys, Insults, Pennsylvania, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teens, Words

There Are So Few Good Roles for Latina Actresses

Chica #1: Here's your apron.
Chica #2: Oh! I'm going to be such a ho' tonight!

Sugar Land, Texas

Posted on June 18, 2018
Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Texas, Weirdness, Words

I Will Now Lift a Piano Without Using My Hands

60-something female professor: Boys, you don't have this problem, but girls: always do your Kegels, especially after you have a baby.

Willamette University
Salem, Oregon

Posted on June 15, 2018
Advice, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Family ties, Oregon, Teachers, Women

…When I Sat on His Face. What?

Girl #1: My 21st birthday was fun.
Girl #2: So was mine, minus the fact that my friends bought stuffed animal beavers at the winery and proceeded to yell about how soft and hairy their beavers were… While my dad was driving.
Girl #2's grandma: What's a beaver?
Girl #2's mom: It's…what some people call the female genitalia.
Girl #2's grandma: Ohhh…your grandfather used to just call it a cunt.

San Francisco, California

Posted on June 12, 2018
Age and ageing, Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Family ties, Girls, Hair, Moms, Old folks, Questions, San Francisco, Vagina, Words

That's Someone in a Mickey Costume, Honey.

Redneck to wife: You'll never see a squirrel like that in Massachusetts!

Disney World
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Stephen

Posted on June 8, 2018
Animals, Compare and contrast, Florida, Rednecks

…Except for My Dog, Who's Gunther.

Drunk guy at bar: My life is an episode of Friends, only there's no girls, and everyone's Chandler.

Bar
Dayton, Ohio

Overheard by: Kristin

Posted on June 6, 2018
Bars & Clubs, Character, Compare and contrast, Default, Drunks, Guys, Ohio, TV shows

I Guess Shaking My Hand After Sex Is a Good Compromise

Middle aged woman: I want him to think of me as the kind of friend who shakes your hand, not the friend you jump into bed with.

Northwestern University
Evanston, Illinois

Posted on May 29, 2018
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Illinois, Relationships, Sexuality, Women

Just Like the Ad Promises!

Girl outside changing room: How are those other pants working for you, Jen?
Girl in changing room, frustrated: I feel like the devil himself crafted them to make a mockery of my ass.

Mall
Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Overheard by: almost broke a rib trying not to laugh

Posted on May 24, 2018
Ass, Clothes, Compare and contrast, Default, Evil, Feelings, Girls, Louisiana, Malls, Questions

As a Fax Machine, on the Other Hand…

30-something to friend: After that, it was no use to him. Well…not as a leg, anyway.

Bus
England

Overheard by: Jeff Alderman

Posted on May 24, 2018
Body parts, Bus, Compare and contrast, Default, England, Friends, Girls, Weirdness

Compare and contrast

There Are So Few Good Roles for Latina Actresses