Redneck to wife: You'll never see a squirrel like that in Massachusetts!
Disney World
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Stephen
Redneck to wife: You'll never see a squirrel like that in Massachusetts!
Disney World
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Stephen
Drunk guy at bar: My life is an episode of Friends, only there's no girls, and everyone's Chandler.
Bar
Dayton, Ohio
Overheard by: Kristin
Middle aged woman: I want him to think of me as the kind of friend who shakes your hand, not the friend you jump into bed with.
Northwestern University
Evanston, Illinois
Girl outside changing room: How are those other pants working for you, Jen?
Girl in changing room, frustrated: I feel like the devil himself crafted them to make a mockery of my ass.
Mall
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: almost broke a rib trying not to laugh
30-something to friend: After that, it was no use to him. Well…not as a leg, anyway.
Bus
England
Overheard by: Jeff Alderman
Boy to girl: Do you think a zebra feels like a horse?
Girl to boy, after brief pause: I don't think they really feel like they are horses, I think they know they are different.
Zoo
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Elderly woman #1: And all her chinaware was Royal Worcester!
Elderly woman #2, looking shocked: No! Really? You wouldn't tell by looking at her, would you?
Elderly woman #1, shaking head: No, you would not.
Rural Staffordshire
England
Man #1: Hey, are those bathrooms?
Man #2: No…that's art.
Discovery Green Park
Houston, Texas
Female student #1: I think Picasso painted them as nudes to liberate women; to show that they're human beings.
Female student #2: I think he just liked tits.
French Class
UMass, Amherst
Teen prep: Shell is a lot more expensive than GetGo these days. (later) I'm missing a lifetime movie right now!
Father: She's like Zippy the Pinhead!
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Shoppy
