Older man walking: I know we live in a mountainous region, but if we lived in a really mountainous region I’d wear pants.
University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: I’d wear pants too…
Older man walking: I know we live in a mountainous region, but if we lived in a really mountainous region I’d wear pants.
University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: I’d wear pants too…
Three-year-old boy: Do Santa and Batman fly in the sky together?
Mom: I hope they're careful if they do, because otherwise… Batmobile crashes into Santa's sleigh, boom! (makes explosion noises) Santa and Batman. Dead.
Three-year-old boy: (laughs hysterically)
Auntie: I'm glad he laughed at that, otherwise you were getting the “worst mom” award.
Antelope, California
Overheard by: Megan
Professor: Okay, so everyone get your papers out. If you don't have your papers here with you then you can just leave. (class mumbles in disgust) That's right, take the walk of shame. Like you just got laid at a frat party, take the walk of shame.
Miami University
Florida
Guy #1: So yeah, you can get in the water with them but you can’t touch the manatees unless they swim up to you.
Guy #2: Sort of like a strip club.
Bar
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Matt
Tough guy who waxes his eyebrows: Yeah, my old girlfriend was smart. She didn't let me take any pictures or videotape her while we were fucking. This new chick…if she's ever famous, I'm rich!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Girl to pregnant friend: You're just like Mary, mother of Jesus…except she knew who the father was.
Toronto
Canadia
Female English professor on the first day of class: So tell me as much about me as you can by my appearance. What kind of person do you think I am?
Student: I think you were probably a wild teenager. You've got a tattoo and a tongue piercing.
Female English professor (chuckling): I've got more tattoos and piercings than you care to know about.
Community College
Elizabethtown, Kentucky
Overheard by: Chelsea
Korean queer, smoking: I heard oral sex gives you more throat cancer than cigarettes.
Dida’s Bar
Sao Paulo
Brazil
Woman: Sorry, I have to pay in singles.
Cashier: That's okay, people do all the time. (asking innocently) Are you a waitress?
Woman: No, honey. My career is a little less wholesome than that.
Cashier: (stutters and looks at her screen) Alright then, your total is $27.45.
Kroger
Cincinnati, Ohio
Guy: Yeah, it’s like that one time we ended up at the homosexual movie theater.
Girl: They have gay movie theaters?
Guy: Yeah, it’s called, like… Homoplex or something.
Girl: We don’t even have those in Boston.
Diner
St. Louis, Missouri
