Compliments

Mother: That dress is cheap — cheap like the cigarette cartoons in my mother’s freezer.
Daughter: It’s prom. You’re supposed to look cheap.

Salt Lake City, Utah

Queer en route to Obama rally: Oh my god, he’s so cute. Do you think he’ll sign my ass for me?

Ohio State University
Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Rachel Jane

Girl to boyfriend: I am the clownfish to your anenome.

Salt Lake City, Utah

Guy: I don't have a favorite person. (pause, then begrudgingly) Well, I guess my favorite person is her… (points at girlfriend)
Girlfriend, unenthusiastically: Well, gee.

Park Tavern
Jersey City, New Jersey

Girl, looking down her shirt: I can’t tell if that’s pork or a hickey.
Friend: You’re so awesome!

Bellingham, Washington

Overheard by: Muffler

Girl: So if you won £100,000,000 on the lottery what would you do?
Guy: Settle some scores. There'd be a few guys from school who'd be going to work one day and suddenly find themselves being bundled into the back of a van with a black bag over their head.
Girl: Then flown out over the north Atlantic, tied up, thrown out of the plane?
Guy: I like the way you think. We should have kids.
Girl: Nah, to get into my pants you'll need to do better than that. £2,000 of jewelery would do it. (cackles hysterically)

London
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Gay guy #1, walking down the street: Oh, this place is cute. Your parents should stay here when they visit.
Gay guy #2: That's a funeral home.

Market Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Ray

Man #1, watching rhino: Damn, it's huge.
Man #2: Lucky bastard.

San Diego Zoo
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Nikki

Dude: You have ovaries of steel.

High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado

Impatient father to 5-year-old girl in toilet stall: Mary, hurry up, what are you doing in there?
Mary: I was just thinking about how great I am.

Men's Room, Airport
Fort Myers, Florida