Daughter: Mommy, mommy, that dress makes you look sixteen years younger!
[Later]Daughter: Mommy, if you were stranded in the desert without any water, what would you do?
Mother: [No response].
Daughter: [to little sister] I would eat my own blood.
Old Navy
Promenade Mall, California
Overheard by: Claustrophobic
Guy #1: God, that burns! Chlamydia’s a bitch! You ever get chlamydia?
Guy #2: Nah, man. I don’t fuck sluts.
Guy #1: Well, I do!
College Park, Maryland
Girl: Ryan, if you had a vagina, what would she wear?
Boy: She? What if I had a male vagina?
Boy #2: Oh, he would be so sassy!
Melbourne, Florida
Overheard by: Livi
Woman with a house that is way overdecorated for Christmas: Oh look at that… Nice nativity. Jesus ain't got nothin' on us bitches!
Amarillo, Texas
Little boy: Mom! Look! An ant!
Mother (pulling little boy by the arm): Come on, sweetie, there will be ants at school.
Burlington, Vermont
Little girl sitting in shopping cart to mother: I love you more than the car! That's a lot,right, mommy? (thinks a while) More than the lights, too!
Wal-Mart
Weslaco,Texas
Overheard by: I love Mommy too
Girl #1: It's so freezing right now! How are you not cold?? (shivering on a picnic bench).
Girl #2: (nonchalantly) I think it's because I'm trying to grow out my armpit hair.
California State University, East Bay
College dude to sales associate: This is going to sound like a weird question, but do you have marijuana-scented air fresheners for cars?
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Laughing behind a greeting card display
Girl: Yeah, I brushed my teeth! (pause) You want to lick my gums and see?
Chinatown
Edmonton
Canadia
Overheard by: Laura
Pilot over loudspeaker (riffing on harmonica): This is your captain speaking, (harmonica riff) Welcome aboard, (harmonica riff) Please fasten your seat belts. (harmonica riff) Or we won't be able to leave beautiful Atlanta, Georgia.
(does long, jazzy harmonica riff. Passengers applaud)
Pilot (in Elvis voice): Thank you very much.
American Airlines Flight
Atlanta, Georgia
