Dude: Is it strange that every time I hear opera, it makes me think of Looney Tunes?
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Rosie
Yuppie teen girl #1: I’m sooo glad it didn’t happen when those boys were looking at the restaurant!
Yuppie teen girl #2: Your face is totally like a target for their… like… stuff.
Hotel elevator
South Carolina
Overheard by: wtf are you talking about?
Well-dressed older lady: That’s definitely one of the better diphthongs.
Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Ladle
Woman on cell in bathroom stall: Well, I told them she’s only available for parties. She’s not just gonna come over and take her clothes off for anybody!
Rehm Pool
Oak Park, Illinois
Overheard by: A Lifeguard
Meathead to another: Dude, are you in a relationship? ‘Cause if you’re not in a relationship, you don’t have to call her ever. Do you hear me? Ever!
Safeway
Ellensburg, Washington
Pilot to passengers: Welcome to Hawaii! I’m going to tell you all what my mom told me when I turned 18: get your bags and get out.
Direct flight from Seattle, Washington to Oakland, California
Little old lady to husband: I don’t care how many times you’ve washed it or how clean it is! I’ve lived 60 years without my tongue making acquaintance with your asshole, and I’m not about to introduce the two of them now!
St. Louis Street
Lebanon, Illinois
Overheard by: AlternknitiveKnitter
Girl to friend: So, you told him you were a nun and couldn’t have friends? That’s so mean!
Chic-Fil-A
Asheville, North Carolina
Overheard by: jaye
Teacher, incredulously: You never read Harold and the Purple Crayon?!
Student: Well, sorry, I was reading Machiavelli.
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