Conductor: The worst thing that you can do in an emergency is to pull the emergency cord. Never pull the emergency cord if it is an emergency!
Boston subway
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: daily commuter
Conductor: The worst thing that you can do in an emergency is to pull the emergency cord. Never pull the emergency cord if it is an emergency!
Boston subway
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: daily commuter
Brunette #1, breaking silence: I hate brooms.
Brunette #2: Me, too.
Rest of group: … What?!
Cactus Club, Yaletown
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
Grandpa to grandson: … And no one but nobody can be a young leader if they crack their knuckles!
Washington, DC
Guy at dinner: Yeah, we figured we’d just have a low key night with just a few beers and some margaritas, but then Ann* was like, ‘Wow, I haven’t had any liquor in two months!’ so the next thing you know, we’re dropping 60 bucks at the liquor store, then the backyard porch swing’s on fire… It was a pretty fun night.
Arlington, Virginia
Woman on cell: Bitch, I’m on the train. No, I ain’t ridin’ the bus! Have you seen the buses in this city?! Girl I wouldn’t get on the bus if fucking Harriet Tubman herself was waving a damn flashlight telling me, ‘All clear’!
On the Red Line
Chicago, Illinois
Ticket collector: The bus is now here. Anyone going to Camden, Malden, or Newark, please step forward.
Custodian: Come on, step forward. You don’t gotta be embarrassed if you’re going to Newark.
Greyhound Station
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Guy: You gotta watch out for the Italian Air Force, dude. They’ve got, like, hang-gliders, and guys who throw rocks.
University of Maryland, College Park
Maryland
Overheard by: Sara
Chick to group preparing to light vodka on fire: How many times has setting alcohol on fire gone horribly wrong for us?
Guy: You’re right. That said, who has a camera?
Carleton University
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Dude: I don’t like watching anything set from the olden days. You know, like Bridget Jones’ Diary… Or anything British.
Blockbuster
California
Overheard by: Define olden days
