(around a D&D table)
Boom: Boom the Barbarian is going to swing his sword.
Walk-in kid: Dude, your character sheet says he’s a fighter.
Boom: Yeah. But his name is Boom the Barbarian.
Walk-in kid: That’s gay.
Boom: It won’t be gay when I boom all over your face.
Openly gay DM: Actually, it would.
Gaming Center
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Construction worker #1: You want some fruit? I got two tangerines and a banana.
Construction worker #2: I'll take the tangerines.
Construction worker #1: Not the banana?
Construction worker #2: No.
Construction worker #1: It's the dick thing, isn't it.
Construction worker #2, silent for a moment: No. They give me heartburn.
Ontario
Canadia
Girl on cell to guy with glasses: Oh! Megan found your pants!
Guy with glasses, doing jazz hands: Yay!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: What…?
Dude to group of guys: When I fuck a girl, I don't want to be remembered. I want to be forgotten.
Echo Park, California
Overheard by: Angry Sandwich
Brunette girl: So like, if I had a mustache, would you tell me?
Tall blonde friend: Of course, would you tell me?
Brunette: Totally.
Tall blonde: I totally have a mustache?!
Brunette: No, no, no…I would totally tell you if you did, but you don't!
Tall blonde: Oh, okay.
(several seconds pass, they sip drinks)
Tall blonde: So we're having topless sleepover at my place tonight, right?
Red Maple
Baltimore, Maryland
College chick to friend: With my luck I'll be the girl with the twenty-foot clitoris.
Boulder, Colorado
Overheard by: ORLY
Spanish professor: Fuck Spanish.
Indiana University
Overheard by: Mierdita
Teen to mother: First of all, I object vehemently to anything that has anything to do with my putting on pants?
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: Lester T.
Long-haired guy to female friends leaving coffee shop: That is by far the best man-flesh I have ever had. The juiciest and fleshiest.
Savannah, Georgia
Overheard by: Arie
