But the Question Was “When Was the Battle of Hastings?”

Guy: … Because the pope touches himself. That’s my answer for the first question. That’s my answer to any question, really.

History class
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia

Overheard by: Kaiti

Posted on December 24, 2015
Canadia, Christianity, Default, Guys, Masturbation, School [Elem., Middle, & High]

Whereas Elizabeth Taylor Will Turn Into Delicious Pudding

Professor: One day you’ll wake up an old weathered hag, unless you’re Cher–she’ll just turn to dust one day when the sun hits her.

McDaniel College
Maryland

Posted on December 24, 2015
About celebrities, Age and ageing, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Maryland, Teachers

Hard for Girls to Compete With That

Gross girl: Well, that girl's bathroom wasn't that bad.
Grosser guy: Well, the flies come to the men's because they like the pee pee floor. Mmmhmm.

Metro Red Line
Washington, DC

Posted on December 22, 2015
Default, Girls, Guys, Insects, Pee, Public transportation, Washington, DC

I'm Sorry, I Thought You Said “Long”

Peeing guy #1: Jesus Christ, how tall are you?
Peeing guy #2: Six three.
Peeing guy #1: How did I never notice this before?
Peeing guy #2: Why did you have to notice at a urinal?

Arclight Cinema Men's Room
Hollywood, California

Overheard by: Matt W.

Posted on December 21, 2015
Body parts, California, Default, Guys, Questions, Restroom, Weirdness

And Only Occasionally Reappears in People's Mashed Potatoes

Girl in English class: In Illinois I get $176.50 in food stamps so I can eat. Missouri, they want to give me $21. 21? 21 dollars isn't enough to feed Jesus, and he disappeared!

SEMO University
Cape Girardeau, Missouri

Overheard by: Ken

Posted on December 20, 2015
Default

Sentences Involving “Mom” and “Underwear” Aren't Typically a Recipe for Normalcy

Teenage girl #1: Oh my god, did I tell you my mom is wearing thong underwear?
Teenage girl #2: Oh my god, that is so weird!

Old Navy Store
Kansas City, Missouri

Posted on December 20, 2015
Default, Family ties, Gripes, Missouri, Stores, Teens, Undies

The Republicans Lost Their Focus After the 2008 Election

Sorority girl: Well, did you get spanked by the entire party? No! That was me! (does a victory dance)

San Diego State University
San Diego, California

Overheard by: oh, really?

Posted on December 19, 2015
California, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Happiness, Questions

So You're Much Rounder

20-something girl to another: You remind me a lot of my old boss. But she was older than you and she got hit by a dump truck.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Karen

Posted on December 19, 2015
Age and ageing, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Pennsylvania

That's New Yorkese for “Pretty Please”

Eight- year-old girl to parents: Can I pleeeese have a Cinnabon?
Dad: No, you don't need that. Finish your dinner.
Eight- year-old girl: If I don't get a Cinnabon, I'm basically going to kill myself.

Rest Stop
New York Thruway

Overheard by: Karen

Posted on December 17, 2015
Dads, Death & dying, Default, Food, Girls, Kids, New York, Offers and requests, Questions, Threats, Weirdness

On the Plus Side, Now I Get to Try Out My New Paddle.

Professor: So where does the blood go then?
Student: The heart?
Professor: Good answer, too bad it's wrong.

Gold Coast
Australia

Posted on December 16, 2015
Australia, Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Education, Questions, Students, Teachers

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