They're Working Their Way Up to Their Heroin Midterms

Dude to chick: It's the first day of class–let's get wasted! (both hi five)

Maryland Institute College of Art
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: widget

Posted on June 9, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Girls, Guys, Maryland, Time Management

Men Are Understandably Nervous about Putting a Bun in the Oven

Chick: He knows how to put it in, he just hasn’t ever done it before.

Laurentian University
Sudbury, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Beebo

Posted on June 9, 2015
Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, Sex, Time Management, Words

Unless She Gets Knocked Up Again in the Interim

Girl #1: So do you have any friends who are total disasters like us, who would want to go to Vegas that weekend?
Girl #2: I have a friend who's getting an abortion next week.
Girl #1: Oh, good, so she'll be good to go by then.

Bar
Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: Orkide

Posted on June 9, 2015
Abortion, Arizona, Bars & Clubs, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Questions, Relationships, US Geography

Grandma Was a Master of Disguise

20-something girl to friends: And I was like, he was my first ugly boyfriend and my first kiss, and I was like “grandma!”

Maxwell’s
Cedarburg, Wisconsin

Overheard by: and i was like, what?!

Posted on June 9, 2015
Default, Family ties, Girls, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Memory lane, Relationships, Weirdness, Wisconsin

…Searching for the Mitten He'd Lost

Mom to teenage daughter: Yeah, they swell up big, you shoulda seen it, looked like I had a pussy on my hand.

Courtroom
Houston, Texas

Posted on June 8, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Hands, Health & Hygiene, Moms, Teens, Texas, Vagina

Based Upon My Limited Series of Experiments

Father: My kid broke his face today. He tried to do a back flip and kneed himself in the eye.
Friend: It’s fine. Kids are like lizards — they grow stuff back.

Liberty Mutual
Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on June 8, 2015
Dads, Default, Friends, Health & Hygiene, Idiots, Kids, Massachusetts

So Hopefully He's a Good Swimmer

Woman #1 (reading a newspaper): Ohmigod, half of Bangladesh is under water!
Woman #2: So what? It's happened before.
Woman #1: But I think someone lives there!

Umea
Sweden

Posted on June 8, 2015
Default, Geography, Stupidity, Sweden, Weather, Women

And Are You Looking at Me, or Not?

Dart player #1: You're kicking ass because you can aim with your lazy eye.
Dart player #2: No, I'm not using my lazy eye.
Dart player #1: Well, it's still not fair.

Riprock's
Denton, Texas

Overheard by: still glad i don't have a lazy eye