Life Was Better When Knowledge Was the Province Of Those Who Could Lie About It

Biology professor: Hey, didn’t they discover that process in corals?
Grad student: No, they discovered that in plants.
Biology professor: That’s what I just said!
Grad student: But coral is not a plant.
Biology professor: What? Yes, it is!
Grad student: No, it’s not, it’s an animal!
Biology professor: Since when?
Grad student: Since always — go look it up!
Biology professor, after disappearing for five minutes: Fucking Wikipedia…

3400 North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: How’d you get this job, anyway?

Posted on June 4, 2015
Default, Gripes, Internet, Maryland, Science, Students, Teachers

Hey, You’re the Experienced Pet-Sitter!

Cashier on cell phone: I mean… What’s the problem? Ejaculating? Is he ejaculating too much or too little? Which is the problem?

Shoprite
New Jersey

Overheard by: allison

Posted on June 4, 2015
Cum, Default, Employees, Etiquette, Gripes, New Jersey, On the phone, Questions, Relationships, Stores

Can't It Be Both?

Angry teacher: This is a fire drill, not a get-naked drill!

Raleigh, North Carolina

Overheard by: J-face

Posted on June 4, 2015
Default

What Do You Expect at a Party School Like Harvard?

Eager freshman: It’s like a disco, but with books!

Harvard Yard
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Posted on June 4, 2015
Books, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Massachusetts, Students, Yeahhh, college!

You Really Shouldn't Tell Kids That Ice Cream Is Medicinal

Spastic five-year old: Medicate me, daddy! Medicate me! Medicate me!

University Village
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Jackie

Posted on June 3, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Default, Family ties, Kids, Offers and requests, Washington

So I Did It on Scat Play

Teen girl: Well, I was gonna do my project on, like, abstinence. But then I figured everyone in our class already isn’t anyway.

High School
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Kristin D

Posted on June 3, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Illinois, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sex, Sexuality, Students, Teens

After Not Returning My Calls This Weekend

Girl, to barking dog: Don't talk to me like you know me!

Wyoming, Michigan

Overheard by: Roxie

Posted on June 3, 2015
Default, Girls, Michigan, Offers and requests, Weirdness

The Ass Is Always Greener on the Other Side

Queer: You're a virgin!?
Girl: Yeah.
Queer: How do you sleep at night?
Girl: I really don't, I stay up all night dreaming about sex and pleasuring myself.
Queer: I want to be a virgin too!

San Diego, California

Posted on June 3, 2015
California, Default, Girls, Queers, Questions, Stupidity, Virginity, Wishes

“Adultland” Was the Most Lucrative Disney Attraction in Half a Century

Dad to son in stroller: Here's where we saw the sexy tree!

Disney World Animal Kingdom
Orlando, Florida

Posted on June 3, 2015
Dads, Default, Florida, Memory lane, Tourist attractions, Words

If You Don’t Believe It, Google “Self-Suck”

Guy: … So I was like, ‘Dude, just this time, you’re not allowed to suck your own dick,’ and he says,’Dude, I totally won’t.’ So I say to him, ‘Man, you’re doing it right now.’

University of British Columbia
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia

Posted on June 3, 2015
Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Comebacks, Default, Gripes, Guys, Penis, Sex

Default