Professor: You'd probably say “no, I wouldn't do it,” but until you had a fly dropped in your nose, you wouldn't know.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Professor: You'd probably say “no, I wouldn't do it,” but until you had a fly dropped in your nose, you wouldn't know.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Guy: Dude, it's not like you can get Botox while you're breastfeeding.
Girl: Why not?
Zeitgeist Bar
San Francisco, California
Professor: So how many inches do you think are in a foot?
Student: Oh I'd say about 100.
Professor (speaking to class): I love picking on the foreign kids on the first day of class.
Normal, Illinois
Overheard by: AJ
Psychology professor: We allowed homosexuals to do their own sex.
University of Pennsylvania
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Emily
Girl on cell: Yeah, he's a friend of my friend in California. He killed those two people… Oh, you saw him on the news? That's a shitty picture they have of him on tv, I hope they get a better picture soon.
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: trying to study here
Fat black woman to son running away: Don't make me go African American on your ass, now get back here!
Shafer Dining
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Lacy
Blond cocktail waitress, looking at a t-shirt of George Bush and his dad with Dumb and Dumber under photos: Who is that?
Chef: Excuse me! Are you serious?
Blond cocktail waitress (a few seconds later, with dumbfounded look): Ooooooh! Is that our President? Then who is that? (pointing to the photo of Bush Sr)
Chef (grabbing head in agony): Owww!
Lulu's Restaurant
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Ben
(in a philosophy class, the subject of “lovemaking vs. fucking” is being discussed)
Angry feminist student: Guys have it so easy! You can go out and fuck any girl you want and no one thinks any worse of you, but if a girl sleeps around she's a slut! Hell, if you somehow don't manage to nail the girl, you can just go home and masturbate. Girl's can't do that!
Female student who hadn't spoken a word all class: Pff, yes we can!
Penn State
Altoona, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: A guy in the same class
Drunk girl, walking over and planting big kiss on guy's forehead: I kissed you like I kiss my cat!
Guy: I don't like cats.
Emporia, Kansas
Overheard by: Very Disturbed
Volunteer #1: We can't be selling this music, it's devil worship.
Volunteer #2: Well, that's the ACLU. The ACLU ought to be abolished. They're why there's all this stuff around.
Customer: Why are you getting rid of that? Don't you think people ought to be able to choose for themselves?
Volunteer #2: Harry Potter is a witch!
Customer: I think we ought to get rid of Bush and Cheney, put them in jail–they're mass murderers!
Volunteers #1 & #2: (silence)
Joshua Tree Thrift Shop
California
Overheard by: Celeste Mann
