Mom: I don't know what I should get for him. He likes video games and that kind of stuff. I got him a GameCube last year and he loves it.
Five-year-old child (looks away from game display, shocked): But you told me Santa got me the GameCube!
Best Buy
Seattle, Washington
Nerdy philosophy professor: The word that comes to mind when I think about grading multiple-choice tests is 'bloodbath'.
Catholic University
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Ditto.
20-something guy: Why are you so concerned about this?
20-something girl: No, seriously. It will split your corneas in half.
20-something guy: Wow, I hadn't thought about that.
St. Paul, Minnesota
Dude #1: Dude, are you still drunk?
Dude #2: Maybe a little, how could you tell?
Dude #1: You smell like beer, weed, and hooker spit!
Lecture Hall
University of Tennessee
Overheard by: bluecollarbelle
Blonde girl: "why don't you just take the whole jaeger shot?"
Blonde girl friend: "see this color? It's like a black man, I can't take it all!"
Lodo's Bar & Grill, Denver, CO
Overheard by: c.love
Guy on cell: I don't think we'll be in a bar, considering what we'll be wearing and that we'll be covered in feathers.
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Guy: If someone was legally blind, it would be really hard for them to see in here.
Revenge of the Mummy ride, Universal Studios
Orlando, Florida
Old lady to grown daughter: Well you know what your brother's problem is? He's pussy-whipped!
San Jose, California
Girl: But she said you were cute.
Guy: Yeah but it’s like: puppies are cute, but you don’t fuck a puppy.
New York City
New York
Overheard by: I’m more of a cat person…
