Drinking & drunks

Girl #1: I am so excited for the Sex and the City movie!
Girl #2: Me too! We should go out for drinks before the movie. Not too many cuz then we will have to take potty brakes during the movie and I don't want to miss anything!
Girl #1: Oh, good call, maybe we should wear diapers. I would totally wear a diaper for this movie!
Girl #2: Totally!

Peoria, Illinois

Hungover girl #1: I really feel like an ass.
Hungover girl #2: Why do you feel like an ass?
Hungover girl #1: Well I did throw a drink on someone.
Hungover girl #2, nodding: And got kicked out of the bar twice.

Wilmington, North Carolina

Loud 40-something: The government wants to cut down on unplanned pregnancy and decrease abortions, but a dozen condoms is as much as a 12-pack of beer? Hello, middle America is not choosing condoms over beer!

Burlington, Vermont

Girl on cell: Wait! (pause) So, it's a gang for crippled people?

Orlando, Florida

Drunk guy to group of teens: If you're on the moon and you ain't got no shoes, man, you're outta luck.

Rye, New York

Overheard by: Grizzzly

Guy: Well, how could you tell I was drunk?
Girl: Because you were actually funny.
Guy: Well, you were actually attractive.

Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Super Mike

Hobo: Girl, I know you’re a freak! All redheads are freaks!
Brunette hipster pumping gas: Step off. What I do is none of your business.
Hobo: Lady, I’m just talking shit ’cause I’m drunk.
Brunette hipster: Me, too.

Kansas City, Missouri

Overheard by: cuspy

Little boy #1: Cheers to Australia!
Little boy #2: Cheers to my bicycle!
Little boy #1: Cheers to my water!
Little boy #2: Cheers to my willie!
Mom: Stop that! I told you not to cheers to your willie anymore.

Rottnest Island
Australia

Overheard by: Jersey Girl

Drunk lesbian to sober girlfriend: Aw, I wanna puke but I can't!
Sober girlfriend: I would punch you in the stomach if you wanted …that's how much I love you.
Drunk lesbian: Awww, that's sweet.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Claire

Black girl #1: Okay, I know what I’m getting. Do you know what you’re getting?
White girl: I’ve never been here before. Let me look for a while. [Pauses, then yells.] Wait a minute! Popeye’s a sailor; Why does he sell chicken?
Black girl #2: Oh my god, shut up now or no more vodka for you for the rest of the night!
White girl: Okay. [Giggles.] I’m sorry.
[Black girls start talking to each other.]White girl, yelling: Why are there no white people in here?!
Black girl #1: Aww fuck, take her outside to the car. This is her first and last time ever coming here!

Popeye’s
Trenton, New Jersey