Zombie studies professor, after lecturing at length on feminist film theory: But enough of that boring stuff. Let's watch a movie where people get murdered!
Chicago, Illinois
Professor: How does a microwave work?
Student: Electromagnetic waves.
Professor: Oh, “electromagnetic waves”! That's a fancy way of saying “magic.”
University of Delaware
Overheard by: Magician
Professor: For all you know, this is a huge lie!
Christopher Newport University
Newport News, Virginia
Dorky calculus prof: And do you want to know why I am going to show you this problem again? Because I have six minutes to kill and if the department head stops by and sees that I let you out early…he is going to spank me! (class laughs) And that's entertainment I am not interested in! (six minutes pass and the prof assigns homework) I bet that spanking sounds awful great right now!
Miami University, Florida
Overheard by: bad mental picture
College student: So first my girlfriend and I split, then I got accepted into the frat, and then I found god…I couldn't handle spring break after that weekend.
Georgetown University
Washington, DC
Good Catholic schoolboy to friend who just recited a really long prayer: Good job! You only missed one word. This one can be really hard and you almost got it perfect.
Bad Catholic schoolboy: God dammit! Jesus Christ, I'm never gonna get this bullshit memorized!
Goretti-Neumann High
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: lora
Girl during evolution lab in biology: So, humans came from monkeys, right? So, if two monkeys had a baby and it was a human, like, what would we do with it?
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/292935894/put-it-in-biology-class.html
Overheard by: we would name it tarzan.
Girl #1: You're more likely to have a boy if the guy hasn't masturbated in awhile.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Yeah, my professor said so!
Sather Gate
UC Berkeley, California
Girl in math class: I mean, seriously. I've been pissing all over these quizzes lately.
Friend: I know, right? Me too.
Michigan State University
History teacher (hanging up posters with spray adhesive): If ya’ll get high from this, you’re welcome.
High School
Columbia, South Carolina
Overheard by: thank you!
