Writer: That guy is so small he could get a job as a stunt midget.
Illustrator: Is that a real profession? I would have thought they did their own stunts.
Greenville Airport
Texas
Overheard by: Mike
Writer: That guy is so small he could get a job as a stunt midget.
Illustrator: Is that a real profession? I would have thought they did their own stunts.
Greenville Airport
Texas
Overheard by: Mike
Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt!
Cashier: Sir, you can't have a receipt if you didn't buy anything.
Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt. I need a receipt or I'll kill you…because I am Osama Bin Laden.
Starbucks
New York City, New York
Undergrad student: Where are the nursing faculty?
University secretary: Pumping.
College
Missouri
Overheard by: rami
Subway conductor, as train lights go out: Ladies and gentlemen, we are currently experiencing a delay because some yahoo cut the power lines walking at track level at St. George station. (ominously) Do you know where your children are?
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Jtf
Nanny to five-year-old: Look, Stephen, there's a kitty!
Stephen, petting cat: Since boys have short hair and girls have long hair, then this kitty is a boy.
Nanny: Maybe not. Boys can have long hair and girls can have short hair too.
Stephen: Then how do you tell if it's a girl or a boy?
Nanny: How 'bout some ice cream?
Washington, DC
Zookeeper: We have three types of penguins: Humboldt, Emperor, and Macaroni.
Small child watching zookeeper: Are there African American penguins?
Zookeeper, clearly flustered: Er…well…there are penguins from many countries and continents…
Milwaukee County Zoo
Wisconsin
Overheard by: Not a penguin racist
Female shopper, surveying bathing suits: The crotch in this looks a little, uh…narrow. Tiny, actually. I feel like it doesn't provide full coverage.
Sales girl: I know. It's sort of the style now, though.
Female shopper: What do you mean, “style”? My labia showing?
Other shopper, walking up: Yeah, I agree. I don't want my vagina suddenly falling out at the beach.
American Apparel, Capitol Hill
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Celessa
Foreign dressing room attendant, opening all stall doors: It stinks in here! Who pooped? Someone pooped in here, and I'm gonna find it. Where is the poop? Who did it?
Ross
Melbourne, Florida
Cashier to woman buying lots of sex toys and lingerie two days after Valentine's Day: Sweetie, you're a little late for Valentine's Day.
Woman: No matter. It's always a good time to freshen up the prop closet.
Touch of Romance
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: awesome
