…Is What I Tell Myself Every Time I Get Rejected for Tenure.

Professor: Sometimes it can be fun to be teased by not getting what you want for a while, as long as you get it in the end.

Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on December 8, 2008
Compare and contrast, Connecticut, Default, Feelings, Teachers, Wishes

See? Was That So Hard, Pancake-Chest?

Girl #1: Sometimes I judge you silently in my head.
Girl #2: Yeah, everyone does that. I think people should start saying what they're really thinking. We should all have running monologues about what's going through our heads.
Girl #1: Really?
Girl #2: Yeah. Like, this one time, me and my friend….
Girl #1: I think you're a bitch.

Starbucks
San Jose, California

Overheard by: Robert

Posted on December 6, 2008
California, Default, Feelings, Girls, Insults, Restaurants, Violence

He Can Turn a Doorknob With It

Guy: I try to cover my butt so girls don't stare at it.
Girl: He's so butt-conceited.

Rochester, New York

Posted on December 4, 2008
Ass, Default, Feelings, Girls, Guys, New York, Sexuality, Words

Meet the Only Guy in Kansas Secure Enough to Say He Doesn't Like Pussy

Drunk girl, walking over and planting big kiss on guy's forehead: I kissed you like I kiss my cat!
Guy: I don't like cats.

Emporia, Kansas

Overheard by: Very Disturbed

Posted on December 2, 2008
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Drunks, Feelings, Girls, Guys, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Kansas

…to Consider, When Purchasing Tropical Fish.

Professor: Do I want to be intimate? That's the important thing.

Arizona State University

Overheard by: Mallory

Posted on December 1, 2008
Arizona, Colleges & Universities, Default, Feelings, Questions, Teachers

Boys: I'm Keeping It in My Pants Now, Thanks Anyway

High school girl #1: I'm so glad I only have one baby daddy. I feel sorry for those girls with more than one! You've gotta figure out who has money and who doesn't.
High school girl #2: That is so true!

Grocery Store
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Just doing my grocery shopping

Posted on November 26, 2008
Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Girls, Money, Relationships, Stores, Teens, Texas

The Gospel According to Brad

40-something suit: Jesus Christ could not possibly make Seattle more depressing.

Bus
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Carefull listener

Posted on November 25, 2008
Bus, Default, Feelings, Geography, Jesus, Suits, Washington

Tonight's Movie: Eyes Wide Shut

Middle aged, balding psych professor disproving “empty nest” theory: Now, when you leave the house your parents are free to run around the house naked, and fuck on the kitchen table! (pauses) Your parents like to have sex!

Psychology Class, Youngstown State University
Ohio

Overheard by: Carmen

Posted on November 24, 2008
Class, Default, Education, Family ties, Feelings, Ohio, Sex, Teachers, Weirdness

Your Editors Just Threw Up

Soccer mom #1: I heard once that the reason animals don't live as long as humans is because they come into the world knowing how to love, and we have to learn.
Soccer mom #2: That is so true.

Lee County Humane Society
Auburn, Alabama

Overheard by: Gee

Posted on November 23, 2008
Age and ageing, Alabama, Animals, Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Default, Feelings, Moms

Learn to Wipe, People, Learn to Wipe

Marriage and family therapy professor: If you're living, shit's happening.

Chestnut Hill College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on November 23, 2008
Colleges & Universities, Default, Feelings, Pennsylvania, Philosophy, Teachers, Weirdness

Feelings