Student: Yeah, she said ‘good luck’ to me. [Friend rolls eyes and shakes head.] I know. It’s the University of Toronto — she doesn’t mean ‘good luck.’ What she really means is ‘I hope you choke on a toothpick and die so I can get your spot in the program.’
Friend, sighing: It really is a shame this school has to be so competitive… How’d you do on that last test?
University of Toronto
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: A+
Guy: She makes her own salsa, too! And God, it’s good. Almost better than sex with a stranger, though I wouldn’t know what that was like.
Girl: I’m also a salsa maker.
Guy, laughing: Well, hello random…
Girl: No, we were talking about your mom making salsa… Until your side-trip to stranger-sex-land.
Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: Jeff
Girl to friend: We're under a bridge! I feel like a crack dealer.
Midsummer Common
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Anti-Math
40-something female suit to friends: I just wanted to cover her in Lysol!
San Jose, California
Overheard by: Wondering what the rest of the conversation was…
Girl in uniform: So when I went to pick up my uniform there were no skirts. So my mom was like “My daughter needs bottoms.”
Friend: That sucks!
Girl in uniform: Yeah, the skirt I’m wearing now belongs to this girl who was deported to Trinidad.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Myr
Guy: When I went down on him, I realized he didn't shower.
Friend: Gross.
Guy: Yeah, I wasn't even gagging because of his dick, but because of his foul stench.
UC
Berkeley, California
Hipster guy: Hey guys, this shirt's 100% organic. This shirt's made outta food! (quiet pause)
Hipster guy's friend: That is like, amazing.
Clothing Boutique
British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Lauren.
Manly guy to male friend carrying fake baby for parenting class: So, did Beth* get her period yet?
Wichita, Kansas
Goth girl, to friend looking at military jackets: You can get those a lot cheaper at goodwill, dude.
Overweight friend: Not in my size! When fat people die, they leak, and then their clothes can’t be given to goodwill!
Starfest Sci-Fi Convention
Denver, Colorado
