Girls

Girl: Your child is adorable.
Proud father: Yes, she's so fluffy and absorbent!

Yarmouth, Maine

Overheard by: Jade

Girl to another: I love being a bitch…it makes life so much more meaningful!

Calgary
Canadia

Overheard by: None of my business

Hobo: Anyone got a dollar? I'm hungry as hell.
Fat girl: Here you go, man. (gives him a five)
Hobo: Thank you! Thank you! Now, see, because she's fat–no, I say healthy. I like my women healthy, gives me something to grab onto. Now, because she's fat, she knows I got to eat!
Fat girl: Umm…

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

20-something girl #1: Did you hear Dan and Jack are getting married?
20-something girl #2: But they're guys.
20-something girl #1: Yeah… guys who fell in love in college, have been together eight years, have never broken up once, and Dan proposed while they were in Paris.
20-something girl #2: Bitches! They stole my dream! See, this is why feminism sucks.

Silver Spring, Maryland

Persian princess: That's why I really want to be into journalism. I think that being somewhere where there's, like, a tsunami or earthquake is really exciting to me…
Horny first date: Yeah, yeah…
Persian princess (breathy pause): I guess I just really want to work for MTV.

Santana Row
San Jose, California

Overheard by: Demitra

White dude with blond afro: You can't get mouth cancer from cigars.
Articulate college chick: Yeah, Sigmund Freud got mouth cancer from cigars.
White dude with blond afro: You want to know what else happened to him? He got bit by a tiger!

Monson, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sarah

Girl: Hey, how about this one? Have you heard the one about the ceiling?
Blonde: Um, no.
Girl: Oh, well never mind, it's *way* too over your head.
Blonde: No, tell me! I'm not that dumb!
Girl (shaking head): Never mind, you don't get it. Hmmm, what about the one about the postcard with no stamp? Oh, never mind, you wouldn't ever get it.
Blonde: Really, I think I could. Tell me, let me try!

Spring Grove, Pennsylvania

Girl to friends, walking through produce section: I have never felt so threatened by produce in all my life.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/407666795/how-do-you-think-the-banana-feels.html

Overheard by: laurel.

Cute chick in line: Oh! I want Haribo gummi bears! I need a snack to study effectively. There are lots of things I don't do effectively without snacking.
Boyfriend: Maybe you should try snacking next time we have sex. You know, maybe a little popcorn…a candy bar…
Cute chick: Are you saying my sex isn't effective? Well, maybe there won't be a next time.
Boyfriend: You know, you're not responding very well to constructive criticism. The solution is to keep trying, not to give up.

CVS
University City, Philadelphia

Overheard by: justtryingtowaitinline

No Wonder King Cole Isn't a Merry Old Soul Anymore

Preppy college girl to friend: She was the girl who would go down on him while lighting his bowl. She was the perfect girl for him. It's too bad she went crazy, they would have been so happy together!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/411972898/yeah-she-sounds-irreplaceable.html

Overheard by: burrhead.