Girls

Tiny girl to friend: You're not fat, you're Santa Claus-esque. Get it right, whore.

Coronado Middle School
Coronado, California

Overheard by: they won the game

Drunk bride: One time, I broke my dildo into two pieces. With my…you know. (other girls look at her in disbelief) What? I was horny!

Bridal Shower
Norway

Overheard by: Hege

Girl sitting at desk: I've got to pee. I've got to pee. Urine needs to come out of my uterus.

Dayton, Ohio

Overheard by: LC

Guy: So, you dance in the room where nobody else does?
Girl: Yeah, I guess nobody understands me. Not even at goth night.

Louisville, Kentucky

Tiny girlfriend: I know way more Killers songs than I thought!
Tall boyfriend (patting her head): It's because you're clever.

Northern Ireland

Overheard by: Limeinside

Girl on phone: Yeah, and your boobs hang out! It's weird!

College Station, Texas

Crying girl to boyfriend: But I love you! You love me!
Boyfriend: Listen very carefully to me. I fucked her. You shouldn't have been a bitch to me about your friends. Now you can get over this and stop being a bitch and we can go get dinner and ice cream and then go home and fuck like sexy little drunk bunnies, or you can keep it up and find yourself without a boyfriend. Your call. Move on and be in love with me, or be a bitch and get dumped.
Girlfriend, still crying: I'm sorry.
Boyfriend: I know. It's okay.

Atlanta, Georgia

Two-year-old girl: Fuck that. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck!

Orthodontist
Gilbert, Arizona

Overheard by: KBizz

Girl on cell: Well, Kristy's brain was there, so that's good, but all the other brains were gone. Plus the whole bucket of eyes!

George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia

Girl on cell: I overheard some chick at a bus stop talking shit about how some other girl shouldn't have been wearing some outfit because she didn't have the body for it. At first, I thought “what a bitch!” then I realized we have that exact same conversation all the time.

Venice, California