Girls

Social problems teacher: So what are some social problems that affect us today?
Female student: Murder?
Teacher: Yeah, that’s good. [writes it on the white board.] Any others?
Male student: Narcissism?
Teacher: I don’t quite understand…
Male student: Well if people are falling asleep all the time and they don’t know it…

Grand Rapids Community College
Grand Rapids, Michigan

Girl: So if you won £100,000,000 on the lottery what would you do?
Guy: Settle some scores. There'd be a few guys from school who'd be going to work one day and suddenly find themselves being bundled into the back of a van with a black bag over their head.
Girl: Then flown out over the north Atlantic, tied up, thrown out of the plane?
Guy: I like the way you think. We should have kids.
Girl: Nah, to get into my pants you'll need to do better than that. £2,000 of jewelery would do it. (cackles hysterically)

London
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Tall, redhead girl: I'm worried that people are getting a little too comfortable being pantless around me.
Petite, indian girl: I wish I was you…

Massachusetts

Girl #1: So I didn't go to your brother's house last night.
Guy: Oh, where'd you go?
Girl #1: I was in a car.
Guy: Oh.
Girl #1: Yeah, and they were all like, “Yeah! Whassup?”
Girl #2: I was in a car last night.

College of Charleston
Charleston, South Carolina

Overheard by: Tori

Boy: So why did you move here?
Girl: I was gonna go to art school and then I wrote this big essay and my cat shit on it.
Boy: Literally shit on it?
Girl: Yeah, I took it as a sign.

18 Bus
Seattle, Washington

20-something #1: Your boyfriend is 61, right?
20-something #2: My boyfriend is 60. Our father is 61.

Colorado

Girl: Oh, hold on, I have to ejaculate my disk.

Montreal
Quebec
Canadia

Size 4 girl #1: I love H&M but it makes me feel so fat. I have to wear a size 6 or 8 when I shop here.
Size 4 girl #2: Yeah, and that vest makes you look like a lesbian.

H&M
Chicago, Illinois

20-something girl on cell: But yeah, I'm a girl so I don't get a boner.

Kansas

[Two 18-year-old girls are browsing a table full of random items for sale at a Christian thrift store at a local church.]Girl #1: This candle holder would probably feel great inside my pussy.
Girl #2, barely startled: Haha. Yeah.
Girl #1: Ooh, this shirt is nice!

Gothenburg
Sweden

Overheard by: Donny Boots