That String Bikini Really Brings Out Your Eyes

Boy: I feel naked.
(long awkward pause)
Girl: I'm glad you're not.

Albuquerque, New Mexico

Overheard by: Molly, LQTM

Posted on August 11, 2019
Clothes, Default, Feelings, Girls, Guys, New Mexico, Weirdness

Since Writing Messages in Blood on His Mirror Doesn't Seem to Be Doing the Trick

Girl #1: Oh, whose car do you think it is? Maybe it's his!
Girl #2: Don't hit it!
Girl #1: Or maybe I should. Give us something to talk about. Hey, remember that time I totaled your car?

Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on August 6, 2019
Advice, Girls, Pennsylvania, Questions, Weirdness

Also the Argument Against the Nuclear Family

Guy: I wonder if any of these bombs are still functional. That way, we know where to go for supplies in the zombie apocalypse.
Girl: What? You idiot, you don't use nuclear power against zombies! They're already dead, so they can't get cancer and die! You would just wind up with a bunch of radioactive zombies!
Guy #2: Yeah, then it's just like Spiderman, but with radioactive zombies instead of Tobey Maguire and spiders!

Atomic Power Museum
Albuquerque, New Mexico

Overheard by: Amred

Posted on August 4, 2019
About celebrities, Animals, Girls, Guys, New Mexico, Stupidity, Zombies

Body Nazis Are So Vulnerable to Imperfection

Girl: I am going to show you guys my toe, and you’re gonna be sorry!

Cresson, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: ZB

Posted on August 3, 2019
Beauty, Body parts, Feelings, Girls, Pennsylvania, Sensory experiences, Threats

We Respect That You Didn’t Take the Easy Route with “Robert Downey Jr.”

Girl: “Pokemon Stadium,” is just stupid. If the other Pokemon does some confusion attack, you just end up slapping yourself or some shit. No one gets so confused they hurt themselves!
Boy: Tell that to Danny Bonaduce.

Worcester, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Katie

Posted on July 22, 2019
About celebrities, Compare and contrast, Games, Girls, Gossip, Guys, Massachusetts, TV shows, Violence

And Uncle Walter Won’t Stop Poking Me

Distraught sorority girl: My mom won’t accept my friend request on Facebook!
Sisters, collectively: Awwwwww.

Social Psychology Class
Florida

Overheard by: Dr. Ian Maxwell von Indypants

Posted on July 22, 2019
Class, Family ties, Feelings, Florida, Friends, Girls, Internet, Offers and requests, Sorority types

So I'm Immune to Your Toxins

Girl to boyfriend: I am the clownfish to your anenome.

Salt Lake City, Utah

Posted on July 19, 2019
Animals, Compliments, Default, Girls, Relationships, Utah

You Haven't Lived 'Til You've Seen Me Applaud with Them.

Cute girl: I have great tits!
Gay friend, skeptically: I guess they're nice…
Cute girl: No, really. Each of my last four boyfriends or longish-term hookup buddies were ass-men when they met me, and by the time we split, they'd each been converted to boob-men.
Gay friend, still skeptical: That may just mean your ass isn't great.
Cute girl: Damn, you're so cup-half-empty. My ass is great. My tits are just phenomenal.

Manhattan, New York