Girl in math class: I mean, seriously. I've been pissing all over these quizzes lately.
Friend: I know, right? Me too.
Michigan State University
Girl in math class: I mean, seriously. I've been pissing all over these quizzes lately.
Friend: I know, right? Me too.
Michigan State University
Little girl to mom: This ice cream is screwing with my mind.
McDonald’s
Dayton, Ohio
Overheard by: heather
20-year-old female emo: So basically, after hours of arguing outside his house, I was so fed up I told him to fucking suck my dick.
30-year-old female friend: Wow, what happened after that?
20-year-old female emo: I left. He was being such a fucking cunt. I wanted to piss in his mouth. He made me drive home drunk!
30-year-old female friend: He could at least offer to like, let you spend the night.
20-year-old female friend: Like, I don't even know, he's such a bitch boyfriend. I honestly hopes he gets the herpes.
30-year-old female friend: You have such a dirty mouth.
20-year-old female emo: Oh, is my lipstick smudged or something?
Starbucks
San Francisco, California
Girl #1: You're retarded.
Girl #2: Yeah, me too.
San Diego, California
Little girl: Mom, those boots make you look like a hooker!
Mother: This conversation is over.
Little girl: Okay… What’s a hooker?
Macy’s, Marley Station Mall
Marley, Maryland
Overheard by: jd
Girl outside changing room: How are those other pants working for you, Jen?
Girl in changing room, frustrated: I feel like the devil himself crafted them to make a mockery of my ass.
Mall
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: almost broke a rib trying not to laugh
30-something to friend: After that, it was no use to him. Well…not as a leg, anyway.
Bus
England
Overheard by: Jeff Alderman
Big-chested teenage girl: I would hate to date a magician. It would be like, “breasto change-o, I just took your boobs.”
Long Branch, New Jersey
Boy to girl: Do you think a zebra feels like a horse?
Girl to boy, after brief pause: I don't think they really feel like they are horses, I think they know they are different.
Zoo
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Angry Jersey girl on cell: No, you hung up on me in your manic, crazy way.
Church Tag Sale
New Jersey
