Drunk guy #1: So what you're saying is, we rip the spine out of a dog?
Drunk guy #2: Yeah, but then you put a robotic spine in. You could get a remote-controlled dog.
Drunk guy #1: Shit, we could control its bark function.
Drunk girl: And make it ski.
Leamington Spa
England
High school senior girl #1: Where's Meg*?
High school senior girl #2: Getting her wisdom teeth out.
High school senior girl #1: Don't some people die from that?
High school senior girl #2: Maybe she will die.
High school senior girl #1: You'd like that, wouldn't you?
New Jersey
Suspicious wife: Hey, didn't you tell me that mermaids don't really exist?
Husband: Yes. And I stand by that.
Suspicious wife: Then how cone they had a show on TLC called Mermaid Girl and it was all about a girl who was a real mermaid?
Husband: They aren't talking about the kind of mermaid that you're thinking of! It's probably just a girl with her legs fused together or something. The mermaids you're thinking of don't exist and they never have!
Suspicious wife: They exist. You lied to me!
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Momo
Mother: Hey kids, look at that woman. She's puking!
Kid: Mom, it's rude to point!
Mother: Move, she'll puke on you too!
Magic Kingdom
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: lolcopter
20-something on cell: So I said to her, “I don't care if you are my stepsister: if you shaved it, I want to see it!”
San Francisco, California
Girl #1: Corey's* got a treatment scheduled for Monday.
Girl #2: What's wrong with him?
Guy: Nothing.
Girl #1: He's got cancer.
Guy: He's fine. People get cancer all the time.
Nicholls State University
Thibodaux, Louisiana
Surgeon: Hey, I need to change the big, sticky plastic dressing on your arm. Wanna go slow or do it in one fell swoop?
Patient, looking at dressing covering length of arm: Nahhh, that ain't gon' be no wonton soup…
Jamaica Hospital
Overheard by: MS3
Old woman, yelling: Did you remember to put Viagra on the list?
Old man, yelling, very annoyed: Of course I did!
Old woman, yelling: Well, I don't know! You forgot to put milk on the list!
Mall
New Hampshire
Female health care professional: I was taking prenatal vitamins, but it made my hair grow really fast, and when I bleached my hair and it grew out too fast it looked really bad, so I stopped taking them.
Seattle, Washington
Son: I just feel so filthy after I go on the T. Can I please have some hand sanitizer, father?
Father: (silently hands it to son)
Son: Am I being paranoid?
Father: You're not being paranoid, Jonathan, you're being practical.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Laura
