Trendy girl on cell: It was stuck to my boob this morning. I had to go clean it off… it was all bloody and gross. (pause) Right on my boob. I know… Eew!
University of Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Sarah Neill
Trendy girl on cell: It was stuck to my boob this morning. I had to go clean it off… it was all bloody and gross. (pause) Right on my boob. I know… Eew!
University of Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Sarah Neill
Freshman boy: I don't think Helen Keller was too concerned about dick.
High School
Colorado
Overheard by: clur
Teen girl: My brother got released from the loony bin today. Same day as he got a new roommate, who kills animals and has an extra Y chromosome. I'm like, “Goddamn!”
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
Guy: You!
Smoking, unsuspecting girl: Me? What'd I do?
Guy: Do you know how lonely it's been since you and Dave* quit smoking? Then everyone started to quit! And now you're smoking again?! At first it was all cute: “Awwww, Emily and Dave* are quitting together! They're like each other's rocks!” Then what happened?!
Smoking girl, sheepishly: We sunk.
Guy: And was it your idea for Dave to start rolling his own cigarettes?!
Smoking girl: Yes…
Guy, exasperated: Every time I ask him for a cigarette, it's like smoking a diaper!
New Jersey
Blonde: I have this theory that babies who were born late are like always late to stuff. And babies who were born early, like premature, are always early.
Friend: Really?
Blonde: Yeah, it's like, on my resume.
Brisbane
Australia
Goth guy to goth girlfriend: Can I borrow your blood?
Rochester
England
Overheard by: Bewildered Techie
Daughter in dressing room: Go ahead, feel them!
Mom in dressing room: No!
Daughter: Really, the point is to feel how natural they feel! I'm going to want to feel yours when you get them.
York, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Kendal
Girl #1: Hey, you smell great!
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Yeah, you smell like that nice soap.
Girl #2: I don't use soap.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Justin
Preppy girl #1: So I had it all over me, it was on my hands and my face…
Preppy girl #2: Oh my god! Did you throw up?
San Luis Obispo, California
Teenage daughter: I had some caffeine pretty late tonight, so I'm gonna take an extra 50 milligrams of Seroquel.
Mother: I'll be sure to call Mary-Kate if anything bad happens.
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
