Flight attendant: Just for future reference, when flying into O'Hare, Xanax is your friend.
O'Hare Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: NeededSome
Flight attendant: Just for future reference, when flying into O'Hare, Xanax is your friend.
O'Hare Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: NeededSome
Woman: My legs are burning. But only because I'm putting more pressure on the gravity.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Just Me
Older woman #1: I really need to get my flu shot this week.
Older woman #2: I got mine last week.
Older woman #3: Ya'll better watch out getting those flu shots, haven't you heard that vaccines cause autism?
Birmingham, Alabama
Jock: Our soccer team's like the colon–it's probably there for a reason but no one knows what it is.
Friend: That's the appendix.
Westminster, Maryland
Teen girl #1: Are you doing it with her, too?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, I'm totally gay for Meg* and her fuzzy unicorn shirt.
Teen girl #3, laughing and choking: I'm not suppose to die choking! I'm the only one who knows CPR!
Harrison, Michigan
Overheard by: Lauren
Guy to friend: Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with it, but my hamster just isn't working right.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Not-at-all 21
Trendy girl on cell: It was stuck to my boob this morning. I had to go clean it off… it was all bloody and gross. (pause) Right on my boob. I know… Eew!
University of Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Sarah Neill
Freshman boy: I don't think Helen Keller was too concerned about dick.
High School
Colorado
Overheard by: clur
Teen girl: My brother got released from the loony bin today. Same day as he got a new roommate, who kills animals and has an extra Y chromosome. I'm like, “Goddamn!”
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
Guy: You!
Smoking, unsuspecting girl: Me? What'd I do?
Guy: Do you know how lonely it's been since you and Dave* quit smoking? Then everyone started to quit! And now you're smoking again?! At first it was all cute: “Awwww, Emily and Dave* are quitting together! They're like each other's rocks!” Then what happened?!
Smoking girl, sheepishly: We sunk.
Guy: And was it your idea for Dave to start rolling his own cigarettes?!
Smoking girl: Yes…
Guy, exasperated: Every time I ask him for a cigarette, it's like smoking a diaper!
New Jersey
