…And the Hendersons

Finely bearded man, loudly and distinctly among crowd: Big. Hairy. Ballsack.

University of Illinois

Overheard by: Kelsey

Posted on April 1, 2018
Balls, Colleges & Universities, Guys, Hair, Illinois, Weirdness

…To Cut Coke with

Girl #1: So I unplugged the phone before I left, so the school can't call my mom to say I'm not at school.
Girl #2: Oh, that's pretty smart.
Girl #1: I also took my dad's credit card.

Train
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on February 7, 2018
Crimes, Girls, Illinois, Parenting, Train

You’re Lucky We’re Letting You Breathe Heavily

Little boy: I don’t wanna walk any more.
Father: No talking when we’re on vacation!

Michigan Avenue and East Hubbard
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Thad

Posted on January 27, 2018
Dads, Gripes, Illinois, Kids

Her Boyfriend Is Willing to Stick It in Any Cavity

Girl #1: I had to go to the dentist, and I spent over a million dollars!
Girl #2: Oh my god, what did you have done?
Girl #3: She had a dick removed from her mouth.

Peoria, Illinois

Overheard by: Allison

Posted on January 24, 2018
BJs, Comebacks, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Illinois, Money, Mouth, Penis

They’ll Make You Think, and Care

(little boy and mother pass bake sale)
Little boy: I wanna cookie! I wanna cookie! Can we please get a cookie?
Mother: You don’t want those cookies.
Little boy: What’s wrong with them?
Mother: Those are Democrat cookies.

Bake Sale for Obama Campaign
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Jamie