Her Boyfriend Is Willing to Stick It in Any Cavity

Girl #1: I had to go to the dentist, and I spent over a million dollars!
Girl #2: Oh my god, what did you have done?
Girl #3: She had a dick removed from her mouth.

Peoria, Illinois

Overheard by: Allison

Posted on January 24, 2018
BJs, Comebacks, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Illinois, Money, Mouth, Penis

They’ll Make You Think, and Care

(little boy and mother pass bake sale)
Little boy: I wanna cookie! I wanna cookie! Can we please get a cookie?
Mother: You don’t want those cookies.
Little boy: What’s wrong with them?
Mother: Those are Democrat cookies.

Bake Sale for Obama Campaign
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Jamie

Posted on January 22, 2018
Default, Food, Illinois, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Politics, Wishes

…Then I'll Have Everything Checked Off My Bucket List.

Wine girl #1: We should go get tattoos!
Wine girl #2: We totally should, I'll be divorced by morning!

Open Mic Night
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: only if it's my name on her ass

Posted on December 26, 2017
Advice, Bars & Clubs, Default, Girls, Illinois, Relationships, Tattoos

But I'll Ask That the Contract Be Written on Recycled Paper

Greenpeace canvasser: Hey! Want to save some trees?
Lady: I don't have time right now. I have to go get rid of a man by divorcing him.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Deana

Posted on December 8, 2017
Illinois, Questions, Relationships, Strangers, Time Management, Women

That's the Last Time I'll Give Her Something for Safekeeping

Bro to friend: Well, that's in your sister's vagina, so I don't know how you feel about that.

High School
Illinois

Overheard by: Chloe

Posted on December 7, 2017
Family ties, Feelings, Friends, Illinois, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Vagina

Which Reminds Me, Where Are the Wheelbarrows?

Teenage boy in toy section: Giant balls always look good on paper…but they don't really work out in real life.

DeKalb, Illinois

Posted on November 29, 2017
Balls, Compare and contrast, Illinois, Teens

But at Least I'm Passing His Biology Class This Time

Preppy girl on cell: Yeah. He just got out of jail and he's hitting on me again.

Salem Community High School
Salem, Illinois

Overheard by: LiLlistna

Posted on November 14, 2017
Crimes, Girls, Illinois, On the phone, Preppies, Relationships, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Threats

Dude, When You Go to Work You're Totally Gonna Shit

High school freshman #1: Sometimes I wish I didn't live somewhere so industrialized. Why can't I live somewhere where people are hunters and gatherers?
High school freshman #2: I know, we waste so much time in school getting an “education.” I could learn so much more out in the world.
High school freshman #1: Yeah, and I don't understand why people go to work and shit.

Train Station
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on November 11, 2017
Education, Illinois, Jobs & Careers, Questions, Students, Train, Wishes

It's All the Technicolor Yawns I've Been Doing

Dentist, about to perform a root canal and three fillings: Wow, you have groovy teeth!

Glen Ellyn, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on November 9, 2017
Body parts, Compliments, Default, Health & Hygiene, Illinois, Medical personnel, Words

That's the Last Time We Party with the Dean

Frat boy to friends: So, I look at him and think, “I'm not such a good friend that I'm gonna help him here.” He was halfway off his air mattress and his tighty whities were soaked with either sweat or urine
Friend #1: I'd have kept away too. I hope it was sweat.
Friend #2: Nah, dude. He's a pisser.

Brown Line Train
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Jim

Posted on October 16, 2017
Body parts, Default, Frat boy types, Friends, Illinois, Pee, Train, Weirdness