Does That Ever Work on Black People?

Leathery hobo to passing students: One of you white-ass, livin’-inside motherfuckers owes me a dollar!

Austin, Texas

Posted on October 22, 2015
Default, Gripes, Hobos, Money, Race, Texas, Threats

Delta Burke Saw His Point

Bum women: Do you have bus fare? I need bus fare.
Woman: Sorry, I don’t have any change.
Bum: Well, fuck you, you fat, scheming, cheap bitches!

Main Street
Hartford, Connecticut

Posted on October 13, 2015
Bag ladies, Character, Connecticut, Grumpies, Insults, Money, Offers and requests, Public transportation, Women

Haven't We Established That It's 42?

Dopey girl: I once figured out the secret of life.
Friend: Really? What?
Dopey girl: You see, that's the problem.
Friend: What do you mean?
Dopey girl: I forgot it.
Friend: Well, that sucks.
Dopey girl: Yeah. I would've made a lot of money off of that too.
Friend: Well, if it comes back to you…
Dopey girl: Oh–don't worry. You'll be the first to know.

Running Track
Loganville, Georgia

Posted on October 9, 2015
Default, Druggies, Friends, Georgia, Girls, Money, Philosophy, Questions

Why Hippies So Often Make Millions… Oh, Wait

Hippie, addressing group: If you can get you guitar to play music at the same frequency as telepathy, you'll make millions!

Portland, Oregon

Posted on August 12, 2015
Advice, Default, Hippies, Money, Music, Oregon, Weirdness

Regardless, It Fills Us Up.

Girl: I've always wanted to try their maple bacon bar, but I either don't have enough cash, or I'm with someone and we usually either get the baker's dozen… or a penis.

Doughnut Store
Portland, Oregon

Posted on August 11, 2015
Food, Girls, Money, Oregon, Penis, Stores, Wishes

But Do They Need Math Tutoring?

Suit on cell: And then we'll use the leftover money for the Asians!

Bellevue, Washington

Overheard by: Curious

Posted on August 7, 2015
Money, On the phone, Race, Suits, Washington

This Would Be a Lot Less Creepy If You'd Take Off the Nixon Mask

Driver, with boat in tow: How much?
Toll booth operator, in a sing-songy tone: Seven-fiftyyyyy!
Driver: What?
Toll booth operator, sing-songy: Highway robberyyyyy!

Toll Booth, Florida Turnpike
Sunrise, Florida

Overheard by: Broke Commuter

Posted on August 6, 2015
Conductors, Crimes, Employees, Florida, Money, Questions, Singing, Weirdness

Stop Wearing Those Stiletto Boots and Bra-tops and We'll Talk

Communications professor: I mean, I can offer you a dollar for sex or I can offer you a million dollars. You're still a prostitute. We're just haggling over price.
(some female students giggle)
Communications professor: What? Oh, you're laughing because I called you whores?

Otago University
New Zealand

Posted on August 4, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Education, Insults, Money, New Zealand, Offers and requests, Questions, Sex, Students, Teachers

Now If Only I Could Marry Louis Vuitton

Really skinny sorority girl: I paid my rent and then I spent the rest, $700, on this new Louis Vuitton (squeals and hugs the purse). But now I have 30 bucks to last a whole month. Looks like I'll be dating for dinner or eating crackers.
Sorority friend: You spent twice as much on your bag as you did your rent! At least you paid your rent on time! Don't worry, you'll find dates. That purse is totally worth it!
Really skinny sorority girl: I know, right, I should just live in my purse. I think that is why married women get fat: they can finally afford to eat. You know my ass is getting fat when I get married.

IHOP
Dallas, Texas

Posted on August 1, 2015
Ass, Diet & weight, Fashion, Food, Friends, Money, Relationships, Shopping, Skinny people, Sorority types, Texas

If Our Disastrous Trip to Thailand Was Any Indication

Frizzy-haired college girl: Are you seriously asking me to to sell myself so you can hitchhike to Sicily?
Friend #1: There are so many things wrong with that sentence.
Friend #2: Yeah. Like first of all, no one in Italy would want to pay for you.

UC Davis
Davis, California

Overheard by: Passing Student

Posted on July 28, 2015
California, Colleges & Universities, Default, Friends, Geography, Girls, Money, Offers and requests, Questions, Sorority types

Money