New Jersey

Stop Being White in Popeye’s!

Black girl #1: Okay, I know what I’m getting. Do you know what you’re getting?
White girl: I’ve never been here before. Let me look for a while. [Pauses, then yells.] Wait a minute! Popeye’s a sailor; Why does he sell chicken?
Black girl #2: Oh my god, shut up now or no more vodka for you for the rest of the night!
White girl: Okay. [Giggles.] I’m sorry.
[Black girls start talking to each other.]White girl, yelling: Why are there no white people in here?!
Black girl #1: Aww fuck, take her outside to the car. This is her first and last time ever coming here!

Popeye’s
Trenton, New Jersey

Best. Quote Location. Ever.

Male roommate to another: Don't jump on me. I have a boner.

Saint Peter's College
New Jersey

Snaggleteeth Are in This Season

Woman: There’s nothing in my mouth that I’m ashamed of!

87 Bus
Jersey City, New Jersey

Now Would You Mind Shutting Up and Blowing Me?

Guy: I don't have a favorite person. (pause, then begrudgingly) Well, I guess my favorite person is her… (points at girlfriend)
Girlfriend, unenthusiastically: Well, gee.

Park Tavern
Jersey City, New Jersey

This Bullet, for Instance

Dude: So, what is this? Like, an energy drink, too?
Barista: Nah, it’s just a soda.
Dude: Hmmm, white grape juice, filtered carbonated water… It does have like 22 grams of sugar, but I guess it’s like natural sugar, so it’s not so bad, right?
Barista: I don’t know, it might kill ya!
Dude: Yeah, but I think that things that kill you make you smarter.

Jersey City, New Jersey

Throw Ball Bearings on the Floor and Say You Just Jerked Off

Seminary student: I always wanted to just write down a series of numbers and letters on the birth certificate, and then later tell my kid they were a robot. It’d be awesome because you’d have the real, original birth certificate to prove it — to prove that they were a robot…

Princeton, New Jersey
http://pomomusings.com/

And What Language Are They Speaking?

Seven-year-old boy, stepping off train, to parents: We're in the middle of nowhere!

Train Platform
Maplewood, New Jersey

Overheard by: KBN

An Institution Worth Protecting

Obese middle-aged tourist to husband: I called him and told him we're at passenger pick-up 2. He called and asked where we'd be, and I said passenger pick-up 2, that's where he can find us. It's just easier to find us when he gets here. Passenger pick-up 2. And it's cold. That's why I brought this vest. I brought this vest in case it got cold, and it got cold. I'm going to button it up. Did you hear me? I'm going to button it up. There, it's buttoned. (husband ignores her)

Newark Airport, New Jersey

Overheard by: EthanK

Not Even by New Jersey Standards?

Guy, tenderly hugging girlfriend: You're right, you're not worthy.

Red Bank, New Jersey

Dude, You’re Preaching to the Choir

Student: She thinks she’s so good. She was probably the only soprano in her high school, so she was automatically the best. Or maybe she went to a school for like, people with severe burns. She was the best in the burn victim ward.

Westminster Choir College
Princeton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Gaby Young

© 2026 OverheardEverywhere.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist