Female English professor on the first day of class: So tell me as much about me as you can by my appearance. What kind of person do you think I am?
Student: I think you were probably a wild teenager. You've got a tattoo and a tongue piercing.
Female English professor (chuckling): I've got more tattoos and piercings than you care to know about.
Community College
Elizabethtown, Kentucky
Overheard by: Chelsea
Teenage girl on bus: Oh, fuck. What is this world coming to? It's like it gets worse and worse.
Teenage guy sitting beside her: What? No. This wouldn't be the worst thing that's happened. Bad things happen all the time. Think about worse things going on right now, or that have been going on, for like, forever.
Teenage girl: It feels like it's getting worse, though.
Teenage guy: But it's not, though.
Teenage girl: Yeah, but, these bad things keep happening. It always keeps happening.
(pause)
Teenage guy: I wanna go see Watchmen.
Teenage girl: Don't, I heard it's not that good.
Bus
Ontario
Canadia
Angry guy: No! We're going to go to the fucking pisser, and then we're going to leave!
(both start towards the bathroom).
Friend: Wait, I don't have to piss, why am I coming with you?
Angry guy: Fuck you, man!
Friend: Seriously, why do you fucking need my help?
Medford, Oregon
Guy coming into classroom: Somebody left their bagel in the water fountain.
Girl in classroom, without looking up: It's a donut.
Guy coming into classroom: Somebody left their donut in the water fountain.
Girl in classroom: It's still wrapped, if anyone wants it.
Chestnut Hill College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
College girl: Can I have one ticket for the midnight train, going anywhere?
Ticket vendor: (blank stare)
College girl: Not so funny out loud as it is in my head, huh? One ticket to Rome, please!
Amtrak Station
Buffalo-Depew, New York
High school girls: Then Mr Jones* said “if anybody knows an easy-23-year old, let me know.” and Jeff* told him “dude if I knew an easy 23-year-old, I wouldn't tell you.”
Bus
Vancouver
Canadia
Old woman at restaurant: What do you have to drink?
Exasperated waitress: Everything except root beer and chocolate milk.
New Brunswick, Canadia
Soccer mom who was just given champagne by lady doing her nails: This is my first drink in ten months! Oh my god, I'm buying some of this on my way home!
Nail Salon
Cumming, Georgia
Overheard by: Caylin
Dad to daughter: Just don't pretend you're riding a bucking bronco when you're in bed.
Seattle, Washington
Toddler, pointing to gigantic bin ball: Daddy!
Father: Oh, believe me kid, we don't need any more balls in our house.
Shoprite in Clark, New Jersey
Overheard by: allison
