Woman to friend: I cannot even begin to tell you about the ridiculousness of yogurt.
The Gayborhood
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: inquiring mind
Woman to friend: I cannot even begin to tell you about the ridiculousness of yogurt.
The Gayborhood
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: inquiring mind
Crazy bag lady, loudly: I don't suck dick for pussy! I don't suck dick for pussy! I don't suck dick for pussy!
(sits down next to another passenger on the subway)
Crazy bag lady, now in passenger's face: I don't suck dick for pussy!
(female passenger gets up and moves)
Crazy bag lady: Why you jumping? Why you jumping, bitch!? You weren't jumpin' last night when that guy put his long ass dick in you last night!
Female passenger: Excuse me, ma'am, don't say that to me! You don't know me!
(subway train stops)
Conductor: City Hall station!
Female passenger: Excuse me, sir, there's a crazy lady on the subway harassing the other passengers.
Conductor: Oh, could you point her out to me?
(female passenger points to crazy woman yelling)
Conductor: Ma'am, are you bothering people?
Crazy bag lady: Why you tryin' to fuck me standing up!? Why don't you fuck me lying down like a gentleman!
Conductor: Ma'am, I'm calling the police.
Broad Street Line Subway
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Guy: My sister and I are twins, but I was born first.
Woman #1: Do you mean you just came out first?
Guy: Well, see, what happened was I am two years older than my sister. [Everyone stares at each other.]Woman #2: … So you and your sister are twins, but she is two years younger?
Guy: Oh, wait, I’m getting confused with another family story. I am two years older than my sister, but I’m pretty sure we’re not twins, either.
900 West Valley Road
Wayne, Pennsylvania
Acting professor: We just tweaked a few things to make it Christmassy and kidnapped Santa.
Point Park University
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: ZB
Dumb blonde: Like that time we were at that party, and everyone was naked, and it was a surprise party!
State College, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: I bet it was a surprise, all right…
Dude: She fucks like a division one athlete. I swear, I take three shots of whiskey before I go to her place. I need to have the spins so I have any chance of lasting.
Ten Stone
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: johnny
Old lady to another: Mary started crying because she thought they were taking her back to New Jersey.
Pizza Shop
Lima, Pennsylvania
Girl: Jazmin*, what was you doing in the bathroom?
Jazmin: Oh, you know…
Boy across the hall: She was taking a dump!
Jazmin: Yup! That’s what we do all day, every day.
Public High School
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: andromeda
Drunk girl: Look! I have salt stains all over my pants. I'm a car.
Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Young woman to another: Oh, you could pull that off, but *I* would like a pedophile.
Passer-by to friend: I don't think that means what she thinks it means… We can only hope.
Phildelphia, Pennsylvania
