Dude at bar: So wait, after her husband left her here by herself–completely shitfaced–she then fucked a total stranger in the bathroom?
Bartender: Yep.
Dude at bar: And then she came back out here bragging about getting banged in the ass?
Gay dude, sidling up: Sounds like an awesome night.
District Bar
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Big D
Gay boy: … And I woke up and my room was filled with red buttons and ears of corn, then my comforter turned into a giant lake, and three purple rhinoceroses just like rose out of it! And–
Girlfriend #1: No, Christian, there is no such thing as rhinoceroses. The plural of “rhinoceros” is “rhinocerii”.
Girlfriend #2: Stacy… I don’t think that’s right… I think it may be “rhinos-“
Girlfriend #1: Courtney, that’s ridiculous, we’re being serious here…
Gay boy: Okay, guys! It doesn’t matter. Anyway, back to the story… The weirdest part is, after all that happened, I thought I liked girls…
Girlfriend #1 and girlfriend #2: Wow… That is strange…
Huntington Movie Theater
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Mo
20-something girl to gay male friend: It really creeps me out when you call me “grandma” when we do drugs together.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: MuffinW
(around a D&D table)
Boom: Boom the Barbarian is going to swing his sword.
Walk-in kid: Dude, your character sheet says he’s a fighter.
Boom: Yeah. But his name is Boom the Barbarian.
Walk-in kid: That’s gay.
Boom: It won’t be gay when I boom all over your face.
Openly gay DM: Actually, it would.
Gaming Center
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Gay guy, gesturing at transvestite performing onstage: I don't want to see any more boobs. Show me the dicks!
Gay friends, approving: We want dicks!
DNA Lounge
San Francisco, California
Queer answering cell: Jesus Christ, where have you been? I thought you were sold into the sexual slave trade!
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: The Megster
Effeminate boy #1: And he said “my penis is so big I can't control it.”
Effeminate boy #2: Oh, god. Really?
Effeminate boy #1: Yes, his mother uses really scientific terminology.
Effeminate boy #2: Oh. Oh, I see.
Effeminate boy #1: Mhmm. Well, he's only four, too. He's already peed on himself because as he says “it's not long enough go down.” I just call it a pee-pee. That's where the word “pee” comes from. Mmhmm.
Effeminate boy #2: Really! Huh!
Friendship Heights
Washington, DC
Overheard by: aimc
Queer on cell: Stop it. She’s too chicken to be anorexic. It’s like, she’ll starve herself for two days, then eat a huge cookie.
Los Angeles, California
Gay dude: No, they're just too greasy for me.
Fag hag: Says the Mexican…
Gay dude: Excuse me? I'm black by insertion.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: i don't like water
Queer to fag hag: I’m so hungry I could eat your pussy.
Restaurant de Anton
Netherlands
